Friday, 22 August 2008

... switch roles ...

A man was sick and tired of going to work every day while his wife stayed home. He wanted her to see what he went through so he prayed:

'Dear Lord: I go to work every day and put in 8 hours while my wife merely stays at home. I want her to know what I go through. So, please allow her body to switch with mine for a day. Amen!'

God, in his infinite wisdom, granted the man's wish.

The next morning, sure enough, the man awoke as a woman.

He arose, cooked breakfast for his mate,

Awakened the kids,

Set out their school clothes,

Fed them breakfast,

Packed their lunches,

Drove them to school,

Came home and picked up the dry cleaning,

Took it to the cleaners

And stopped at the bank to make a deposit,

Went grocery shopping,

Then drove home to put away the groceries,

Paid the bills and balanced the check book.

He cleaned the cat's litter box and bathed the dog.

Then, it was already 1P.M.

And he hurried to make the beds,

Do the laundry, vacuum, dust,

And sweep and mop the kitchen floor.

Ran to the school to pick up the kids and got into an argument with them on the way home.

Set out milk and cookies and got the kids organized to do their homework.

Then, set up the ironing board and watched TV while he did the ironing.

At 4:30 he began peeling potatoes and washing vegetables for salad, breaded the chops and snapped fresh beans for supper.

After supper, he cleaned the kitchen,

Ran the dishwasher,

Folded laundry,

Bathed the kids, and put them to bed.

At 9 P.M. He was exhausted and, though his daily chores weren't finished, he went to bed where he was expected to make love, which he managed to get through without complaint.

The next morning, he awoke and immediately knelt by the bed and said:

'Lord, I don't know what I was thinking. I was so wrong to envy my wife's being able to stay home all day. Please, oh! Oh! Please, let us trade back. Amen!'

The Lord, in his infinite wisdom, replied:

'My son, I feel you have learned your lesson and I will be happy to change things back to the way they were. You'll just have to wait nine months, though. You got pregnant last night.'

Wednesday, 30 July 2008

... 結束了 ...

剛看完了“溏心風暴”。裏面的其中一對情侶,常在心與程亮讓我感覺好可惜、可憐。雖然深愛對方,但最後卻沒在一起。只因爲對方沒有把自己的心裏話坦白說出來。後來,程亮死了;寫了整整兩年多的日記的他始終沒把他的真心話說出來。當常在心發現的時候已經太遲了…

命運作弄人,對嗎?

你相信命運嗎?

我從來都不信,但最近發生的事讓我懷疑是否真的有命中注定這句話。該相信它嗎? 我曾經被警告該結束這段感情;我卻認爲我能控制命運。只要能遷就對方,就會有結果。現在,我不得不讓相信可能這結局是命中注定的。

明知道會分手的,但我卻希望這天永遠不會到來。我輸了… 不恨任何人,只知道強求是不會有快樂的。所以,那天事實擺在我眼前,我卻很淡然的接受。也許不是第一次被抛棄了,我沒哭也沒閙。几個星期前就覺得怪怪的…可能是我不肯去面對與接受,而沒意識到愛已逝。

相信真心付出,就會有回報?這不曾發生在我的愛情故事裏。朋友們都認爲我該放手,但說的永遠比做的難。雖然在一起的時間不是很長,但還是有那麽點不捨得…

我只希望下個會更好。

Wednesday, 2 July 2008

... 要求、付出 ...

剛剛有感而發的感想: 儅女人的要求變多了,男人是否會害怕而躲避? 要求多了是否是因爲男人給的少或不夠? 給的少或不夠是不是沒有愛了? 沒愛了是否意味著對方從來沒要求? 沒要求是因爲以爲對方會理所當然的付出?

會付出是因爲想滿足女人的要求?

So, whatever comes round goes round… learn not to request too much and you will get what you want..

Monday, 30 June 2008

... prison and prisoner ...

The bride tells her husband, 'Honey, you know I'm a virgin and I don't know anything about sex. Can you explain it to me first?'

'OK, Sweetheart. Putting it simply, we will call your private place 'the prison' and call my private thing 'the prisoner'. So what we do is: put the prisoner in the prison.

And then they made love for the first time.

Afterwards, the guy is lying face up on the bed, smiling with satisfaction.

Nudging him, his bride giggles, 'Honey the prisoner seems to have escaped.'

Turning on his side, he smiles. 'Then we will have to re-imprison him.'

After the second time they spent, the guy reaches for his cigarettes but the girl, thoroughly enjoying the new experience of making love, gives him a suggestive smile, 'Honey, the prisoner is out again!'

The man rises to the occasion, but with the unsteady legs of a recently born foal.

Afterwards, he lays back on the bed, totally exhausted.

She nudges him and says, 'Honey, the prisoner escaped again.'

Simply turning his head, He YELLS at her, 'Hey, its not a life sentence, OKAY!”

Thursday, 26 June 2008

... 距離 ...

我開始感覺我倆的距離越來越遠了。

聊不上五句話,還是我們之間已不再有相同的話題?

我發現我也變得沉默很多,必要時才開口說幾句;還假裝在朋友面前表現我沒變。也許是我在掩飾那股慢慢浮現的不愉快吧!剛才在綫上與一位朋友聊天,連他也發覺我有心事。我卻沒跟他說真正的原因。因爲,不想再把往事重復又重復。

那股想要相伴的衝動又漸漸浮現在我心深處。但不想再有爭執,所以選擇不去理會。把自己弄得忙忙碌碌,只因爲這樣我才能讓你少擔心我、對我沒有任何的顧慮。

我明白也了解這是個非常時期,你絕對不容許任何的無理取閙;所以我唯有默默承受這難受的感覺。渴望等待很快就過去了。我已經開始在逃避與你相處的時間。因爲看到你一次,我就心如刀割一次,很痛很痛...

別擔心,或許這一切明天就隨風而逝了。

... 我和你 ...

got this from somewhere which i can't remember where.. but it's quite meaningful..

我和你 人海裏 竟相遇

星相印 又患得 又患失

吵了架 更思戀

重盟誓 要忠誠 搭兩船

太可惡 包三奶 不許可

因爲愛 不能分

情再長 竟不比 歲月悠

情變淡 你說過 會愛我

我沒變 你變了

我的愛 你知否 我的痛

你知否 忘記你 不容易

記住你 太難受

不結婚 結婚不 相見好

生活難 到白頭 最動人

只一句 我愛你

Sunday, 22 June 2008

... labour of love ...

For those who are still single may learn something from here. And those already married may take this as a guideline to improve your marriage.

DID I MARRY THE RIGHT PERSON?

During one of our seminars, a woman asked a common question.

She said, "How do I know if I married the right person?" I noticed that there was a large man sitting next to her so I said, "It depends. Is that your husband?" In all seriousness, she answered "How do you know?" Let me answer this question because the chances are good that it's weighing on your mind.

Here's the answer.

EVERY relationship has a cycle. In the beginning, you fell in love. With your spouse. You anticipated their call, wanted their touch, and liked their idiosyncrasies. Falling in love with your spouse wasn't hard. In fact, it was a completely natural and spontaneous experience.

You didn't have to DO anything. That's why it's called "falling" in love... Because it's happening TO YOU. People in love sometimes say, "I was swept off my feet." Think about the imagery of that expression. It implies that you were just standing there; doing nothing, and then something came along and happened TO YOU. Falling in love is easy. It's a passive and spontaneous experience.

But after a few years of marriage, the euphoria of love fades. It's the natural cycle of EVERY relationship. Slowly but surely, phone calls become a bother (if they come at all), touch is not always welcome (when it happens), and your spouse's idiosyncrasies, instead of being cute, drive you nuts. The symptoms of this stage vary with every relationship, but if you think about your marriage, you will notice a dramatic difference between the initial stage when you were in love and a much duller or even angry subsequent stage.

At this point, you and/or your spouse might start asking, "Did I marry the right person?" And as you and your spouse reflect on the euphoria of the love you once had, you may begin to desire that experience with someone else. This is when marriages breakdown. People blame their spouse for their unhappiness and look outside their marriage for fulfillment.

Extramarital fulfillment comes in all shapes and sizes. Infidelity is the most obvious. But sometimes people turn to work, a hobby, a > friendship, excessive TV, or abusive substances. But the answer to this dilemma does NOT lie outside your marriage. It lies within it. I'm not saying that you couldn't fall in love with someone else. You could. And TEMPORARILY you'd feel better. But you'd be in the same situation a few years later.

Because (listen carefully to this):

THE KEY TO SUCCEEDING IN MARRIAGE IS NOT FINDING THE RIGHT PERSON; IT'S LEARNING TO LOVE THE PERSON YOU FOUND. SUSTAINING love is not a passive or spontaneous experience. It'll NEVER just happen to you. You can't "find" LASTING love. You have to make" it day in and day out. That's why we have the expression "the labor of love." Because it takes time, effort, and energy, And most importantly, it takes WISDOM . You have to know WHAT TO DO to make your marriage work.

Make no mistake about it. Love is NOT a mystery. There are specific things you can do (with or without your spouse) to succeed with your marriage. Just as there are physical laws of the universe (such as gravity), there are also laws for relationships. Just as the right diet and exercise program makes you physically stronger, certain habits in your relationship WILL make your marriage stronger. It's a direct cause and effect. If you know and apply the laws, the results are predictable... you can "make" love work.

Love in marriage is indeed a "decision".. . Not just a feeling.

Friday, 20 June 2008

... 有心無心?...

活了這麽大,我才發覺是否我已經領悟想多、做多、錯多這句話。 很煩也生氣,因爲我好像過界了。 我認爲的關心變成是多管閒事、以為化解了誤會卻被責備是我的表達能力有問題。真的嗎?是我誤解了所有的事情嗎?從來都不覺得我有那種能耐改變也知道有些事情是改變不了的。 但是,我真的無心傷害。聽者有心、說者無意。 所以,不說、不做是最好的方式。

Tuesday, 17 June 2008

... your teeth an your luck ...

The next time you reveal your teeth in a dazzling smile, look at yourself in a mirror. Your teeth should be as well groomed as you are. They should be straight and even and should be neither too big nor too small for your face. The shape and appearance, colour and size of your teeth mirror particular traits that make you different from everyone else. Your teeth offer clues to your personality and attitudes. FSW brings you this quick and easy summary on how you to read someone’s teeth.

Shape & Appearance

1 Convex Teeth

These teeth signify someone talkative and rather noisy. This could also be an aggressive person who will not take NO for an answer. When someone with this kind of teeth approaches you, it is likely you will immediately and subconsciously be alert and watchful. This kind of teeth favours women, as convex teeth on women’s faces are only moderately convex, which signifies a good life and someone who possesses good mentor luck.

2 Concave Teeth

This is just the opposite of convex teeth and is not generally favoured. People with teeth like this should really get them fixed. Some say this indicates the person could inherit a genetic disease.

3 Sharp Teeth

This kind of teeth tends to resemble the teeth of a mouse. They are sharp and efficient. Having this kind of teeth signifies someone very smart, especially in the technical fields of expertise. Someone like this tends to be mathematical and generally have a good start in life, but he/she may face obstacles and challenges later on.

4 Mixed Convex & Concave Teeth

Here the lower part of the teeth is convex, while the upper parts are concave. This is generally described as "upside down teeth". Such teeth signify good eloquence – someone who speaks well and very persuasively. However, this person lacks career luck and could come to a bad end. This person will generally be left alone and at the losing end in any competition or dual. They lack winner’s luck and will always have to make do with coming second best.

5 Uneven Teeth

People who have uneven teeth – some small and some big, some sharp and some blunt – tend to be greedy and grasping – thinking only of him or herself. Such a person can also be something of a bully. His/her thought patterns and actions appear “unsynchronized”. This person can be very hot tempered, as a result of which he/she has troubles in most love relationships. Romantic luck tends to be lacking. Such a person should learn to control his/her emotions to create a better and happier life.

6 More Gum than Teeth

When the gums are very obvious each time a person opens his/her mouth, this suggests someone lacking in relationship luck especially with respect to family. This person is likely to leave the family when young. This does not suggest the person is not nice, only that he/she tends to be closer to friends than to relatives. However, according to physiognomy, someone with uneven oral structure is not to be trusted. One should be careful before trusting such a person.

7 Gang Tooth or Snaggle Tooth

This kind of teeth indicates someone who is proactive at work, always thinking up new ideas and demonstrating plenty of initiative. This person is also passionate and forthright. He/she has a good sense of public relations and will have plenty of social skills. Some however regard someone like this as stubborn, who tends to be argumentative and quarrelsome.

8 Unbalanced Appearance of Face & Teeth

Here the face and teeth seem to be mismatched, particularly when the face seems too small and the teeth seem too big. This is not a good indication as larger than normal teeth signify many obstacles in life. This kind of imbalance is not favoured amongst Chinese Matriarchs looking for potential wives for their sons, as this signifies a woman who will cause problems for the husband.

9 Tiger Teeth

People with this kind of teeth have different luck depending on their gender. It is unfavourable for males, as guys with this kind of teeth tend to have bad family luck. His relationship with his parents and wife are usually not good. In women, however, this teeth structure brings good relationship and wealth luck. People with this kind of teeth tend to be straightforward. This however could upset others, especially those with their own agendas.

10 Very Tiny and Neat Teeth

A person with small teeth tends to be a very stingy person. To this person, money is everything and they are easily motivated by the promise of a cash reward. Such people are also prone to jealousy and do not trust people easily. When there is a gap in the front teeth, it also indicates an inability to save money.

11 Neat but Uneven Teeth Structure

Here the teeth are either one big or one small; one front, or one back, either too long, or too short. It looks neat but the structure is badly formed. From young, this person should get dental braces to even out the imbalances. Teeth like these suggest someone who likes to tease or fool around, believing this makes people happy. Alas, most times, his/her efforts at tomfoolery just causes a great deal of annoyance. When the front teeth is upside down or uneven, it signifies a bad relationship with parents. Even when this person stays with the parents, the relationship is bad.

Colour

The perfect colour of teeth is not pure white but a milky colour. People with milky looking teeth are high-minded, humble and kind. When the teeth are also tidy and seem to be in good balance with the rest of the face, it signifies someone optimistic and passionate who will enjoy a good life.

Someone with super white teeth is someone who likes to fool around, is flirtatious and skittish, and in matters of the heart, not to be trusted. Such a person will not think twice about being unfaithful or betraying a loved one. Not good spouse material at all!

When teeth tend to be yellowish it suggests someone with a mild nature, who is patient and calm, and rarely hot tempered. Yellow teeth also suggests a healthy and long life.

When the white teeth are dry as well, it indicates a violent person who has a very hot temper. When teeth are dry and yellowish, it is not a good sign as this indicates plenty of obstacles and continuous bad luck. In this case, better to get your teeth fixed!

When the teeth is yellowish and seems moist as well, it signifies someone who tends to be psychically weak. This person tends to be petite and fragile looking, but this hides a very strong and tough person. Such people are very lucky in terms of being successful in endeavours.

Teeth that tend to look stained, brownish or blackish indicates a person to avoid. This person obviously does not look after his/her teeth. The energy surrounding such a person is negative and nasty.

Size

The size of teeth in relation to the face also offers clues to a person’s success potential. People who have big teeth that are also regular in shape have what are known as “dragon teeth”. This signifies someone powerful who has excellent career and wealth luck. Such a person will become respected and well known as an honourable person during middle age, and is slated for a good life with a good ending.

When the front teeth appear big, it suggests an active person, someone with high sex drive who gets passionate about the things and causes. Such a person is reliable and trustworthy.

When teeth are neat but small and appear to have deep roots, this is known as “ox teeth”. People with such teeth enjoy good fortune all through life. They live long and enjoy wealth and riches. When the roots do not seem deep, then small neat teeth symbolizes someone with an impulsive nature who is likely to make mistakes.

When the face is presentable with a good mouth shape, but the teeth are uneven, the person tends to be fussy and overly critical of others. Such a person is a mischief maker although there is rarely any intention to give harm or cause pain.

Sunday, 15 June 2008

... 是你是你是你 ...

你對我的好能持續多久?這幾天得謝謝你好聲好氣的跟我説話... 但是,每次你的好,不久后就會換來爭執。你的好讓我有種恐懼感;腐蝕着我。

剛才好像發生了,但不想在朋友面前與你爭執;所以選擇沉默與逃避來面對。只因我沒有力氣與勇氣去反駁。對;我開始需要勇氣,因爲我恨自己無法打開心胸去面對嫉妒吞蝕我的心房。答應你我不會,以爲我能做到;卻發現這是個艱難的任務。

你不在身邊,回家的路變得好長、好寂寞—播着熟悉的歌,眼淚也不知不覺地流下。我曉得我不應該胡思亂想,但我卻做不到。很難受;好像有種窒息的壓力。看到你的無助和漸漸浮現的壓力,我卻無能爲力。

所以,原諒我暫時避而不見;無言的對待。等你恢復我在你心中的位置時,我可能就會恢復笑容了。

我很懷戀以前的你。寧願你偶爾的呼呼呵呵,至少知道你還會關心我。

Friday, 13 June 2008

... what's love? ...

hmmmm..... and so Yue Lao says...

A man was having a conversation with 'Yue Lao' the Deity of Marriage in the middle of the night. Yue Lao was sitting down while the man was standing.

Man: O Lord, I have a girlfriend of five years, but now I have fallen madly in love with a new lady. I really don't know what to do.

Yue Lao: Are you sure that the lady you're now madly in love with is the one you love most, and will be the very last woman in your life?

Man: Yes.

Yue Lao: Then initiate a break up so you can be with the new lady!

Man: But my current girlfriend is gentle, kind, virtuous. If I initiate a break up, wouldn't it be quite cruel and unethical?

Yue Lao: In marriage and love, it will only be cruel and unethical if there is no love. You're now in love with another lady and no longer your girlfriend, and a break up is the right thing to do.

Man: But my girlfriend loves me very much, she really loves me very much.

Yue Lao: Then she is fortunate.

Man: I'm going to leave her for another woman, and this should cause her to be in misery. How can she be fortunate?

Yue Lao: Because she still possesses the love she has for you, whereas you have lost the love you have for her, because you have fallen for someone new. Accurately speaking, it is a blessing to possess and a misfortune to lose possession, therefore the one in misery is you.

Man: But I'm leaving her for another woman, she should be the one who has lost me and thus feel miserable.

Yue Lao: You're wrong. You're only an entity in her love life. When you, the entity, no longer exists, her true love will continue on to another entity. Because in her love life, she has never lost true love, therefore she is the one who should be blessed and you the one in pain.

Man: She said she would love only me all her life and not a second man.

Yue Lao: Have you not said something similar before?

Man: I... I... I... Yue Lao: Look at the three candles in the urn before you, the one that shines most brightly.

Man: I don't know, they're all equally bright.

Yue Lao: These three candles can be likened to three women. One of them is the woman you have fallen for. There are so many humans in existence, and there are more than hundreds of thousands of women. You can't even tell which is the brightest or point out which is the woman you love now, yet why are you so sure the one you love now is that woman, and even more so, how can you be so sure she will be the last woman in your life?

Man: I... I... I...

Yue Lao: Now put one candle close to you, and look closely which of the three candles are the brightest.

Man: Of course it's the one right in front of me. Yue Lao: Now put it back to where it was, and then look again and tell me which is the brightest.

Man: I really cannot tell which is the brighest.

Yue Lao: Actually, the candle you brought before you is like the woman whom you have fallen for. Love stems from the heart. While you love her, you feel that she is the brightest candle. When you put the candle back to where it was, once again you could not tell which was the brightest candle. This type of love is only a kind of greed that blinds you and looks beautiful and perfect on the surface, but in the end it's only an empty dream.

Man: Oh! Now I know. You didn't really want me to leave my girlfriend, you merely wanted to enlighten me.

Yue Lao: I won't tell you if you've seen through me. Now, go.

Man: Now I really know who I love - she is my girlfriend.

Yue Lao: May Heavenly Blessings be with you. When one is alive, one can hardly avoid love. May all lovers in the world cherish the one beside them, steer clear of greed and illusions and create happiness with their special one.

Monday, 9 June 2008

... sorry seems to be the hardest word?? …

Last night, it's my best friend's birthday… however, I think it is the worst birthday she ever had… when she called me on the phone, I knew.. she and her husband had an argument again.. yes, again.. I thought after the last argument they had, things are better… but, it is not.. same thing is happening again.. is it really due to the fact that men and women handle certain issues differently??

This time it made her so disappointed that she was crying over the phone as it's her birthday and yet her husband just don't bothered about her… she knew I had kept a diary all the while and mentioned that I should checked when was the first time she said she's giving up on her marriage..

After she hung up, that same fear crawls up to me again.. I have also admitted to her that this fear was in me soon after their first quarrel after their marriage… although divorce seems to be the easy way out on certain issues, but that's the last thing I want from both of them…

This, made me realized that saying sorry is so much more difficult than l love you.. Agree? or it just occur on men that I knew?? Few of them that I knew (my ex is one of them) had never said that word… he told me "sorry is not in my dictionary" ok fine… then I live and kept silence after each arguments we had…

After that I concluded; if a guy ever said sorry, it's because it's some grave mistake they did… for minor stuffs (like insisting I'm wrong when I'm not, never listen to what I said), they would thought action speaks louder.. hello!! it doesn't applies every time ok?? or worse, they just brush away the whole issue altogether..

To the guys out there ~ Yes, after each arguments or quarrels we had, certain points will be made clear to me, and I got it… but shouldn't you at least just apologize for all that hurling and shouting at me?? is it too much to ask for?? (though I knew if I were to start complaining about this, another argument would surface again… so I rather pen down my thoughts.. of course, I don't expect anything in return from this entry.. don't mistook me, guys! ~ or you guys would protest at this point but at least this is at least what I had observe)

A while ago, I posted a entry about argument, and it seems like couples will not talk about it after they've cooled down… only thing they did was, avoid... and then another argument surfaces, some of the issues could boil down to the same point in an earlier argument..

Is it us, human beings care too much about our face?? or we just refuse to talk about it as we think it is over and everyone had cooled down..

Maybe problems solved maybe not.. what's your say??

Monday, 2 June 2008

... 三心二意 ...

兩頭不着岸的我很辛苦。作啥都不順心。。好像我遇到瓶頸了。

這也是提醒我不能三心二意了。是否我該領悟些道理?

但我是笨的嘛,哪有這麽容易就發現呢?只好慢慢去發掘吧!可能需要用一生的時間來領悟某些道理或做人的基本功。

連見朋友都要想了又想,怕這怕那。

做女人都得經過全世界男人的同意,覺得我應該需要有女人的斯文。哈哈!

不久,我可能連門都不能出去了。要經過重重的批准、下令才能走下一步。

好啊!那就這樣吧 ~ 做機器人就行了。

Thursday, 29 May 2008

... why men are never depressed ...

Men Are Just Happier People -- What do you expect from such simple creatures? Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack. You can be President.. You can never be pregnant. You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO shirt to a water park. Car mechanics tell you the truth. The world is your urinal. You never have to drive to another gas station rest-room because this one is just too icky. You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. Same work, more pay. Wrinkles add character. Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental-$100. People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet. One mood all the time.

Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. You know stuff about tanks. A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase. You can open all your own jars. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.

Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. You almost never have strap problems in public. You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes. Everything on your face stays its original color. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades. You only have to shave your face and neck.

You can play with toys all your life. One wallet and one pair of shoes -- one color for all seasons. You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look. You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife. You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.

You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.

No wonder men are happier.

Thursday, 8 May 2008

... 傻瓜 ...

這是溫嵐的一首新歌,我非常喜歡一面聼一面哼着…

可能是它絕對反映我對愛情的心聲吧!儅了幾次的傻瓜卻還不醒悟。哈哈! 永遠希望現在式比過去式與衆不同…

結果,我又失足跌倒了。跌進同一個深淵並留下深深的疤痕。以爲我稍微換了湯,一切就沒事卻忘了湯是需要換藥的。

是否有些人和我一樣?在愛情的遊戲裏打轉,尋找某個愛自己勝過自己愛另一半的情感。我曾經擁有過,但我放棄讓它成爲永遠的機會。之後,我好像秤一樣;縱然希望能平衡出付出與回報。但漸漸明白在這遊戲裏頭,唯一不能公平衡量就是這兩樣…

而且,重要是冷漠與沉默是維持天長地久最好的解葯。也慢慢發現減少爭吵的方法就別無理取鬧也別比上不足比下有餘。

此時此刻的我只奢望能把歷史收起;把握未來就從現在開始。但,這機會是否能實現呢?我還在等待、等待着~或者,機會是要我自己去尋找、爭取?

Saturday, 26 April 2008

... heaven's ugliest ...

Three men were waiting at Heaven's Gate.

St. Peter says, "Okay, guys, pretty much anything goes up here, but whatever you do, never lie, or you will spend the rest of eternity with the ugliest women in the universe."

So they all agree and are admitted in. The first guy makes it a week before he lies about how rich he was on Earth. Bam! Right at his side appears the ugliest woman he had ever seen.

The second guy makes it another couple weeks before he lies about how smart he is. Bam! At his side appears the second ugliest woman in the universe.

So the first two guys are walking around with their monsters of women when they see their third friend walking with the hottest woman ever conceived by man. The first two guys say in unison, "How did you end with that babe when we get stuck with these nasty women?"

He nudges the babe and says, "Tell them."

She says to the first two guys, "I lied."

Saturday, 19 April 2008

... quick laugh ...

Teacher : History is a very interesting subject. It tells you about what had happened in the past.

Student : Please teacher, I don't think I want to study history.Teacher : Why?

Student : There is no future in it

............. ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... .

Teacher : Ted, if your father has $10 and you ask him for $6, how much would your father still have?

Ted : $10.Teacher : You don't know maths.

Ted : You don't know my father!

............ ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ........

Mother : David, come here.

David : Yes, mum?

Mother : You really disappoint me. Your results are getting worse.

David : But I will only get my report book tomorrow.

Mother : I know that. But I am going to Hong Kong tomorrow, so I am scolding you now.

............ ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ........

Father : Why did you fail your mathematics test?

Son : On Monday, teacher said 3+5=8

Father : So?

Son : On Tuesday, she said 4+4=8 And on Wednesday, she said 6+2=8. If she can't make up her mind, how do I know the right answer?

............ ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ........

A mother and son were doing dishes while the father and daughter were watching TV in the living room.

Suddenly, there was a loud crash of breaking plates, then complete silence.

The daughter turned to look at her father.

Daughter : It's mummy!

Father : How do you know?

Daughter : She didn't say anything.

............ ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ........

Girl: Do you love me?

Boy: Yes Dear

Girl: Would you die for me?

Boy: No, mine is undying love

............ ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ........

Man: How old is your father?

Boy: As old as me

Man: How can that be?

Boy: He became a father only when I was born

............ ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ........

Waiter: I've stewed liver, boiled tongue and frog's leg.

Customer: Don't tell me your problems. Give me the menu card.

............ ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ........

Teacher : Simon, your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's. Did u copy his?

Simon : No, teacher, it's the same dog!

............ ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ........

Father : Your teacher says she finds it impossible to teach you anything!

Son : That's why I say she's no good!

............ ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ........

Teacher: 'Where were u born?'

Student: ' Singapore , Sir.'

Teacher: 'Which part?'

Student: 'All of me, Sir.'

............ ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ........

A teacher was asking her class: 'What is the difference between 'unlawful' and 'illegal'?'

Only one hand shot up.

'Ok, answer, Joan' said the teacher.

'unlawful' is when u do something the law doesn't allow and 'illegal' is a sick eagle.'

............ ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ........

Teacher: 'How come you do not comb your hair?'

Ah Kow: 'No comb, Sir.'

Teacher: 'Use your dad's then.'

Ah Kow: 'No hair, Sir.'

............ ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ........

A boy came home from school with his exam results.

'What did u get?' asked his father.

'My marks are under water,' said the boy.

'What do u mean 'under water'?'

'They are all below 'C' (sea) level'

Wednesday, 9 April 2008

... 該去該留? ...

最近工作有點不愉快。很苦惱是否該讓一切變零。已經開始有那種每天需要很大的力氣拖着空虛的軀殼工作。

知道這是一件壞事,因爲曉得每次有這感覺時就是該盤算該去該留… 一個很矛盾的抉擇。

我也發現我漸漸失去那種衝勁了。不相干的事我不聞不問、或者該說我學會了不聞不問?

很多時候我的關心好像變成好管閑事。導致不必要、多餘的爭吵。我非常渴望真的有個地方(最好是沒人的小島)能讓我有棲身之地。不需要華麗的閙區也不必有迷人的景色。我只要一個屬於我的天地,更不需要很大的空間。

能完成這小小的願望嗎?

Wednesday, 12 March 2008

... 女朋友 ...

在男人的心目中如何算是他們所謂的“好”女朋友?

當然我相信女朋友還包括美麗 (因人而異 ~ 所以才有‘情人眼裏出西施’嘛!)、大方、溫柔、體貼、善解人意等。

但,我覺得應該還該包括如下∶

~ 在必要時懂得別多管閒事

~ 別過問任何與她無關的事情

~ 叫她做的事,別問那麽多;除非得知道為何要做

~ 需要時,要做‘私人秘書’

~ 不要吃無謂的醋,因爲可能是和工作有關 (儘管你發現了親密的簡訊與對話)

~ 順著他的要求多點。偶爾可以有驚喜;但別常常要這要那,因爲他可能受不了。

~ 或者還有別的因素??

還是那句話∶我覺得最終兩個人在一起是因爲愛;有緣才會認識,深交、結合。老天爺如果安排了這一生只願跟我走,那就順著走吧!

Monday, 10 March 2008

.. bowling ...

had been bowling for the past 1 months plus with this group of friends from forum.. used to detest myself for the low score, but not tonight.. i had break my own record!! from a mere average 60-70 when i was playing during my teens, to my last month high score 123.. and tonight - my record breaking! i hit a high score of 185!!! with 1 double n 1 turkey.. o __ o even my friends couldn't belive i could do so well.. haha.. myself too!! don't kw what come to me.. haha.. anyway, i know my effort pay off will do.. even my scores are quite consistent nowadays.. hee.. those 'secret trainings' does help after all.. wonder when will be the next record break.. 200?? here i come!! haha.. (this post is backdated as i'm too lazy and tired to write it.. hee..)

Tuesday, 4 March 2008

... marriage ....

WHY AM I MARRIED?

You have two choices in life:

You can stay single and be miserable,

or get married and wish you were dead.

__________

At a cocktail party, one woman said to another,

'Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?'

'Yes, I am. I married the wrong man.'

__________

A lady inserted an ad in the classifieds:'Husband Wanted'.

Next day she received a hundred letters.

They all said the same thing:'You can have mine.'

__________

When a woman steals your husband,

there is no better revenge than to let her keep him.

__________

A woman is incomplete until she is married. Then she is finished ..

__________

A little boy asked his father,

'Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?'

Father replied, 'I don't know son, I'm still paying.'

__________

A young son asked,'Is it true Dad, that in some parts of Africa

a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?'

Dad replied, 'That happens in every country, son.'

__________

Then there was a woman who said,

'I never knew what real happiness was until I got married,

and by then, it was too late.'

__________

Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.

__________

If you want your spouse to listen and

pay strict attention to every word you say -- talk in your sleep.

__________

Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all.

__________

First guy says, 'My wife's an angel!'

Second guy remarks, 'You're lucky, mine's still alive.'

__________

'A Woman's Prayer:

Dear Lord, I pray for: Wisdom, To understand a man, to Love and to forgive him , and for patience, For his moods.

Because Lord, if I pray for Strength I'll just beat him to death.'

__________

AND NOW FOR THE FAVORITE!!!

Husband and wife are waiting at the bus stop with their nine children. A blind man joins them after a few minutes. When the bus arrives, they find it overloaded and only the wife and the nine kids are able to fit onto the bus.

So the husband and the blind man decide to walk. After a while, the husband gets irritated by the ticking of the stick of the blind man as he taps it on the sidewalk, and says to him, 'Why don't you put a piece of rubber at the end of your stick? That ticking sound is driving me crazy.'

The blind man replies, 'If you had put a rubber at the end of YOUR stick, we'd be riding the bus, so shut the hell up.

Friday, 29 February 2008

... laugh away your stress ...

*Break Into the House*

A man went to the police station wishing to speak with the burglar who had broken into his house the night before. 'You'll get your chance in court,' said the desk sergeant. 'No, no,no!' said the man. 'I want to know how he got into the house without waking my wife. I`ve been trying to do that for years!'

***********

*Lost Wife*

The man approached a very beautiful woman in a large supermarket and asked,'You know, I've lost my wife here in the supermarket. Can you talk to me for a couple of minutes?' 'Why?' she asks. 'Because every time I talk to a beautiful woman, my wife appears out of nowhere.'

***********

*Teacher*

'If there are any idiots in the room, will they please stand up?' said the sarcastic teacher. After a long silence, one freshman rose to his feet.'Now then mister, why do you consider yourself an idiot?' enquired the teacher with a sneer. 'Well, actually I don't,' said the student, 'but I hate to see you standing up there all by yourself.'

***********

*Hearing*

An elderly gentleman had serious hearing problems for a number of years. He went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a set of hearing aids that allowed the gentleman to hear 100%. The elderly gentleman went back in a month to the doctor and the doctor said, 'Your hearing is perfect. Your family must be really pleased that you can hear again.' The gentleman replied, 'Oh, I havn't told my family yet. I just sit around and listen to the conversations. I've changed my will three times!'

***********

*Wedding*

Attending a wedding for the first time, a little girl whispered to her mother, 'Why is the bride dressed in white?' 'Because white is the color of happiness and today is the happiest day of her life.' Her mother tried to explain, keeping it simple. The child thought about this for a moment,then said, ' So, why is the groom wearing black?'

***********

* Dream*

A woman awoke excitedly on Valentine's Day and announced enthusiastically to her husband, 'I just dreamed that you gave me a pearl necklace for Valentine's day! What do you think it means?' With certainty in his voice, the man said, 'You'll know tonight.' That evening the man came home with a small package and handed it to his wife. With anxious anticipation the woman quickly opened the package to find a book entitled - 'The meaning of Dreams' .

Monday, 25 February 2008

... 屬於你我的 ...

天長地久是奢侈的。我只想要這一世。

期限是否會成立?

你的努力和改變我看到了。有時我真的很心疼你的遷就。但又能持續多久?我們走到這已經不簡單了,雖然還有很長的路要走。

而且我發現表面上的不在乎已經不能再掩飾下去了。我還是在乎的。屬於你的一切一切,我都想要、想擁有。事實卻永遠不符合我們奢望的。

是因爲我已經陷得太深了嗎?

你說你的坏脾氣是我造成的,那我的又是受誰的影響?

~~~ <<< >>> ~~~ <<< >>> ~~~

(這只是我對某些事情有感而發罷了。。看太多的分分離離了,有時真的在想這世界真的沒天長地久了嗎?假設這是一封男人給女人(或是相反)的信,對方看了是否會感動的破涕流淚?)

Thursday, 21 February 2008

... 循環 ...

他們分手了。

我知道的時候有點不知所措。該安慰還是裝諾無其事?我不懂也不想知道。昨天我曉得他找我是要與我聊天吧!但我在駕車,所以沒機會聼他的‘牢騷’。。

直到今天才知道她回到她當初所喜歡的人。也許我不屑,是喜是優、快樂悲傷;但覺得好像有種被耍的感覺。

繞了一圈還是回到原點。

偏偏很多時候事情都是這樣的。就如生老病死吧!

我們出生來到這世界學習做人的道理、漸漸長大了,到社會上做事。談一場轟轟烈烈的戀愛后就結婚生子。多年以后,我們慢慢變老了;身體也隨著年齡的增長開始變的脆弱;之後也開始偶爾聽到有喪事發生。

經歷同樣的過程,然後又入土爲安。橫的出世也橫的結束。哈哈!聼起來很好笑吧!但這就是生命。

這是個循環的世界。

Monday, 4 February 2008

... 脾氣 ...

脾氣每個人都會有。有好有坏的、有暴躁有慪氣的。當然也有些人是沒有脾氣的。

最近你是否發現你的脾氣好像天氣那麽那難以預測、變的好快。快到我已經不知所措、沒轍了。你的脾氣也很反復無常,動不動就會鬧情緒。以前我還能忍受你的無理取鬧。但是我發現我已經漸漸失去我的忍耐性了。爲何你就不是那些脾氣好的一群呢?

爲何會如此?這問題我反復的在問我自己。是我的錯嗎?你是否也有想過這問題?我倆好久好久已經沒好好聊上伍句話。不然你就會說我不了解你的煩惱。

我真的很累很累了~ 你真的很像高高在上的皇帝,只有你的世界,沒有他人的。老百姓應該順著你的聖旨做事。完全不能反駁、反抗。就算有,你也有你的原則或理由讓反抗者心服口服。假如有叛逆者,決格殺勿論。我看到血光之災,水火不容。已經有犧牲者了。。。

是時候適可而止了吧!

Tuesday, 29 January 2008

... flowers for valentine's day ...

hey ppl, guess all of you know Valentine's Day is coming in 2 weeks time huh??

and you are having trouble of getting what type of flowers for your gal friend?? but yet shy to carry the bouquet around (well its man's ego sometimes as i understand carrying a bouquet is quite girly sometimes.. haha)

the saviour is here!! check this website out!! http://www.floweryfloralflowers.blogspot.com

FREE delivery islandwide with NO minimum purchase!!

Friday, 25 January 2008

... night courses ~ just for laugh ...

Ah Beng went to take night courses with the reasoning in future can get promotion or better job.

During work, Ah Beng likes to show off to Ah Seng about his knowledge.

Ah Beng: Ah Seng ah... I've been taking night courses for 3 months already, next week is the exam.

Ah Seng: Oh... Good luck ah. Then Ah Beng started show off...

Ah Beng: Ok, I test you, who is Graham Bell?

Ah Seng: Don't know

Ah Beng: He is the inventor of phone la... in 1876, see... if you takenight courses, you would know this.

Ah Seng: ........................ *speechless*

The next day, Ah Beng shows off again...

Ah Beng: Ah Seng ah... let me ask you, who is Jean Jacques Rousseau?

Ah Seng: Wash your toilet one ah?

Ah Beng: No! He's the author of "Confessions", nah nah nah... told you already, if you take night courses, you would know this.

Ah Seng: .......................... *speechless + frustrated*

The next day, once again...

Ah Beng: Do you know who is Alexander Dumas?

Ah Seng: Your gay partner?

Ah Beng: Choiii!!! If you don't know don't simply answer la. He's theauthor of "The 3 Musketeers", if you take night courses, you would knowthis.

Ah Seng: ........................ *speechless + frustrated + irritated

This time Ah Seng cannot tahan (stand) anymore and ask Ah Beng...

Ah Seng: Eh... Do you know who is Ah Kaw?

Ah Beng: Errrr... No!

Ah Seng: He's the guy sleeping with your wife!! If you stop night courses, you would know this!!

Ah Beng: ........................ *fainted*

Thursday, 24 January 2008

... 爭吵 ...

一段感情的開始是因爲愛上對方,然後牽着彼此的手一起共創未來。中間你可能會發現對方的一些小動作、缺點、等等,但是卻可以很淡然的接受。

日復一日、年復一年,這對相愛的戀人可能開始了他們對對方的理所當然。理所當然會曉得對方幾時高興、何時傷心。

愛到濃時是否就會對彼此呼呼呵呵?反正他/她都懂我會這樣,會那樣,無所謂啦!結果就迎來無謂的爭吵與無聊的慪氣。

到後面就變成三天一小吵五天一大吵。當然,勝者為王。以爲能讓對方知道你的想法你就贏了;但對方的想法呢?你有試着去理解嗎?勝者似曾想過也許敗者可能吵到心累了、放棄解釋了或是無話可説?因爲那些無謂的口角已經開始慢慢腐化那段感情。或者他/她已經厭倦了爭吵。心裏知道就算再爭下去也沒用。公說公有理、婆說婆有理。到頭來道了歉,可能雙方和好如初,也可能過了幾天又歷史重演。

所以,下次爭吵要三思而後行噢!兩個人相愛是件很難得的事,別因爲爭吵而失去它!

Saturday, 19 January 2008

... what u want me to do?? ...

up to this point we are still arguing over your missed calls.. i hv already explained to you clearly that i didn't hear my phone.. why must you put it like as if i purposely didn't want to answer? my friends are important and so are you.. u sound as if i'm a criminal and reprimanded me so harshly.. maybe you are right, i don't get what you meant coz i'm dumb mah.. you must tell me clearly man!! just some missed calls n smses could get you so upset.. and i never thought you will call 8plus when you know i'm having dinner with my friends.. i did chk my phone but its when you happens to call.. and even if i answer, so what? i can't just leave like dat??!! or do you acutally expect me to leave?? whatever it is, my conscience is clear.. say what you want to say..

Thursday, 17 January 2008

... 關心或多心?...

從他的部落格留言板知道他要走了。(我的朋友啦,別多心!哈哈!)他說他走了,叫大家保重。這是他寫的留言 "leaving SG tml le....byebye everyone ....hehehehe....take care...."

我真的擔心了。因爲知道他剛失戀,所以有點擔心他會悄悄的離開這傷心地。能想象這一幕: 小弟呢?奇怪?!前幾天還看到他在部落格留言的嘛。。鈴鈴!電話沒人聼!死了啦,他還好吧?爲何沒人接?*電話就這樣一直響。。* 該打給小惠嗎?打還是不打?不要啦,等一下她也說我想太多。。我該怎樣?

結果打給john,“打給小惠啦!他只是出海而已嘛,那麽緊張幹嗎?他都沒事了。”

結果,我們為了小弟不會做這種事、不會這樣不負責任、他又不是沒有失戀過等鬧意見。哦,現在變得是我多心了!當初沒人告訴我他出海囉,而且我又不是神算,哪裏知道他在哪,我又曉得他出海么?到頭來,是我的錯而我的關心變成多事了咯。好,以後我不管了。

不然又有人說我想象力豐富了。

Wednesday, 16 January 2008

… my first entry here ~ blogging …

Blogging is so common nowadays that everyone has one. From 15yrs old teenager to our 70 yrs old elder, ah peh and ah ma (made in Singapore – lauzabor, the funny aunty in Jack Neo's comedy has one blog too!)

If you are lucky, do a search and you will find different styles of writing and nice nice layout of blogs. Some inspirational whereas some funny.

Having a blog is a way to jot down your daily events for others to see... enlighten some, tickle some funny bones... how true are the entries, we won't know... but some are really interesting cum funny to read (one of my favourite like everyone else – xiaxue.blogspot.com – hey, should I be paid for free advertising?? haha!).

Well, let me introduce myself. my name is on the side... and you can click my complete profile to get all information about me... haha! (*bich* multi punches from readers).

ok ok, here goes: I started blogging way back to 2003 when blogging has just surfaced. It's in my Friendster account. Then I switched to SingTel's (yeah our biggest mobile/internet provider. Are they still no. 1 today??) Moblog... I like it as it was introduced by my friend, where you could sent your entry through your mobile... though till now I didn't tried using my mobile, but heard it's fantastic... you can do it anytime any day, including weekend!! *bich* from audience: "of course lah... you already said anytime, any day lei…" ok, I'm not trying to be xiaxue... she's a good blogger. me? still far to go man... and hope I get the blogger award too!! (playing song: dreeamm, dream dream dream..)

now, knowing blogspot provides unlimited space (or do they not!?!?) and most of my friends are starting to blog here, so I shall be an angel. Help every one of you to save time switching browser and type in "tancyee.moblog.com.sg". I made everyone's life easier. You can just type "tancyee.blogspot.com" (if you are also reading other blogs here, just overwrite and change the nick in front will do!) Tatah! fast hor?? shorter typing lor.. I'm angel right?? haha!

And for those whose Chinese is not that good, I'm sorry as I should be blogging mostly in Chinese (I try to strike a balance in English and mandarin ok?) as I'm more well-versed in Chinese (me Chinese mah, so must remember my mother tongue). So, don't give me that so-what-you-are-Chinese look lei! Though I looked tanned and some say I look Malay but sorry I'm not mixed, I'm 100% Chinese!

So, stay tuned for more entries!!

Tuesday, 15 January 2008

... dragon fruit ...

Also known as the Dragon Fruit, the Pitaya is a stunningly beautiful fruit with an intense colour and shape, magnificent flowers and a delicious taste. The fruit, apart from being refreshing and tasty, contains a lot of water and minerals with many different nutrition ingredients. It tastes light sweet and it's good for liver, laxative, supplementing fiber and very suitable for diet.

Besides, dragon fruit is also good for person who has a high blood pressure. According to popular experience, obese person who has eaten dragon fruit regularly canreduce his/her weight naturally and have a beautiful balanced body but it does not influence on his/her health. Moreover, eating this fruit can stop and reduce diabetes. Hence, dragon fruit is a favorite fruit of many people especially Asian customers.

Benefits of eating the Dragon Fruit

1. Enhance the body metabolism (Protein)

2. Improve digestion (Fiber)

3. Reduce Fat (Fiber)

4. Improve memory (Carotone)

5. Maintain the health of the eyes (Carotone)

6. Strengthen bones and teeth development (Calcium)

7. Tissue development (Phosphorus)

8. Help to metabolise carbohydrates and produce energy (Vitamine B1)

9. Improve appetite (Vitamine B2)

10. Moisturise and smoothen skin and decrease bad cholestrol level (Vitamine B3)

11. Improves the immune system and promotes healing of cuts and bruises (Vitamine C)

USEFUL TIPS:

How to Select and Store

They should be full-colored and free of moldy spots. Dragon Fruit should be refrigerated, unwashed, for up to 5 days. Serve chilled.

Recipe For The Month:

Dragon Fruit Pizza

Ingredients needed :

1 package of ready to use pre-made sugar cookie dough

8 ounces cream cheese

1/2 cup powdered sugar

1 tablespoon lemon juice

3 dragon fruit, peeled and sliced

3 kiwi, peeled and sliced

1 cup strawberries, hulled and cut in half

1/4 cup apricot glaze

Directions

Rolled out cookie dough into a 12 inch round.

Bake 10-12 minutes or until lightly browned.

Allow to cool completely.

Meanwhile, prepare fruit by washing and slicing it into 1/4 inch slices.

Cream together the cream chees, powdered sugar and lemon jucie.

When the crust is cool, top with the cream cheese mixture.

Lay fruit in a circle on top of the cream cheese mixture.

Spread apriot glaze over fruit.

Chill until ready to serve.

... my virgin post ~ not anymore ...

hey people.. this is my first post here in blogger.. enjoy your stay here folks!

realized i could back date the entries! so, i shall start to cut and paste all my entries from my old moblog ones 2 here.. haiz.. why didn't i realized earlier??!!

Thursday, 10 January 2008

... out of love ...

最近一位朋友失戀了。他非常的沮喪,還在他的部落格說他希望有一天他能失去記憶而忘記一切。我知道他很傷心,雖然表面上他顯得無所謂,不在乎那女孩的(叫她小慧吧);但在他心裏面我知道他非常難受。

沒幾個人知道他也有部落格。好像只有我和小慧曉得吧。我也知道他的部落格是因爲小慧而做的。第一次讀他的部落格我還差點掉眼淚呢!因爲我也認識小慧,所以感覺更親切。他們有如我的小弟、小妹一樣。因爲這失敗的戀情,我們好像也漸漸疏遠小慧了。他們的戀情雖然很短暫,但是我曉得那是我小弟長久以來最快樂的時光。

他們不知道我也有部落格,所以我不能像其他人一樣,能寫些鼓勵的話讓他看。希望從這得到一些鼓勵與安慰。到現在我沒真正嘗試開導他因爲我不知從何說起。他曾經是個開心果,現在變成一個沉默寡言、沒笑容的小弟。搞不好,他會因此在我面前抱頭痛哭。哈哈!我們還曾經說他是唯一一個朋友從來只帶笑容不帶傷心的。但現在這句話已經不攻自破了。

誰何嘗沒有這種感覺?有失就有得、有愛就有恨、有戀愛就有失戀。曾經有人形容戀愛像搭巴士,我同意。

你等了這麽久的巴士,終于來了。上了車之後,才發現你搭錯車了。那不就要下車?所以你又重新在等下一趟。車來了,它終于是你要搭的,於是就快樂的搭到你的目的地。當然,也有人喜歡半路下車,也有人喜歡從這輛跳到那輛。不然就是巴士司機拒絕載客,因爲巴士滿了。結果,你只有再等下一輛,希望是同一樣而可以上車。傳説不是說,上帝創造了亞當,因爲怕他寂寞,所以從他的背後(可能不是背)拿了一根肋骨而創造了夏娃。所以,只要人在這世上,就一定會有另一個他/她會喜歡彼此的。因爲我們女人是男人的肋骨啊!他們少了那根就要找回來呀!

Thursday, 29 November 2007

... why we SHOULD buy pirated VCDs ...

JUST FOR LAUGH!

1. Free black plastic bag

You can't get those cool black coloured bags anywhere.The ones sold outside are too big and they are meantfor the tong sampah.

2. Family bond

Every weekend, when you go to wangsa maju JJ, you can see little kids running to the VCD shop to select their favourite Pokemon cartoon VCD. And then mommy will come along to find her favourite Teresa Teng VCD. Next comes big sister to select her F4 VCD. And lastly, big Bro and daddy searching for the latest movies ... and try to eye for some you-know-what VCD. Anyway, the whole idea is, the pirated VCD shop is like a place for weekend family reunion. When was the last time you saw daddy buying little Billy a VCD in Speedy Video ?

3. Cinema sucks

When you reach the cinema, you'll have to line up for 15 minutes before it's your turn to get the ticket. By then, they tell you ticket sudah habis. So you buy tickets for the next show and have to wait another 3 hours. When the time comes, the ticket usher stops you from bringing nasi lemak and cha-kuay-teow into the hall. So you're forced to line up another 10 minutes in the snack bar. By then, you're already late for the show. Lampu sudah tutup when you go in. Oooppss.. terjatuh and veryone laughs at you.Next, the cinema bores you with 15 minutes of iklan. Frankly speaking, I dunno why the government ban 'triple x' VCDs when all the beer commercials in the cinema feature sluts dancing around. Later, your handphone rings and everyone boos you.At last, the show ends but you'll need to beratur through the smelly exit.After 30 mintues, you notice that your handphone is lost. The only thing good about cinemas is the fact that you can throw kua-chi on the floor.

4. Customer

Friendly sellers buying VCDs from the stall is like dining in a luxury restaurant. First, those blond hair sellers will greet you with 'leng-Chai'. It's now time to order the meal. If you know what to order, they will search the title for you.But if you're undecided, these fellas will suggest some meals for you. Strangely, all movies (according to them) are nice to watch. When you've finished, here comes the main course. The rectangular box containing all the finest artistic international stuff.(porn?)..And you can bargain too! But when you buy VCDs from Speedy Video, the shop assistants will stand few meters away from you, with their arms tied and eyes alert, thinking that you're another shoplifter.

5. Beli barang buatan Malaysia. The title says it all. No need to say more.

6. You go to the movies...while watching the most suspense part in a love movie....as the guy and girl are about to kiss...all of a sudden, the screen goes into matrix mode. And then it changes to some dull scene. Doesn't this sound familiar? Say thank you to our censorship board for helping us remove the "naughty" parts. You never get this when you buy pirated CDs.

7. 6 years ago, piracy was a minority because of the original CD pricing and contents. 3 years ago, they increased original CD prices by 70% and say it's because of import duties, tax and other crap. While at the same time, the pirated CD prices drop by 50% - 70%.Customers would prefer to buy from a sale right?

8. Piracy helps students to learn new programs at a reduced price cost.If every student is going to spend RM800 just to buy Adobe Photoshop, then Malaysia would lag behind in the computer graphics industry. So in the long run, Malaysia's economic status becomes better with more knowledgeable citizens.

9. As people are willing to spend money on pirated CDs but not that willing to buy original cds, they are circulating the money and helping to increase the GDP.

10. Pirated VCDs offer the latest movies, even before they are shown in the U.S.! Compare this to original VCDs, where you have to wait for a few months after the movie is first released.

Monday, 26 November 2007

... men & women ...

Men :

1. All men are extremely busy. 2. Although they are so busy, they still have time for women. 3. Although they have time for women, they don't really care for them. 4. Although they don't really care for them, they always have one around. 5. Although they always have one around them, they always try their luck with others.

Women :

1. The most important thing for a woman is financial security. 2. Although this is so important, they still go out and buy expensive clothes and stuff. 3. Although they always buy expensive clothes, they never have something to wear. 4. Although they never have something to wear, they always dress beautifully. 5. Although they always dress beautifully, their clothes are always just "an old rag". 6. Although their clothes are always "just an old rag", they still expect you! to compliment them. 7. Although they expect you to compliment them, when you do, they don't believe you.

Wisdom:

WHEN I WAS MARRIED 25 YEARS, I TOOK A LOOK AT MY WIFE ONE DAY AND SAID, "HONEY, 25 YEARS AGO WE HAD A CHEAP APARTMENT, A CHEAP CAR, SLEPT ON A SOFA BED AND WATCHED A 10-INCH BLACK AND WHITE TV, BUT I GOT TO SLEEP EVERY NIGHT WITH A HOT 25-YEAR-OLD BLOND."

NOW WE HAVE A $2M HOME, A $245,000.00 CAR, NICE BIG BED AND 50" PLASMA SCREEN TV, BUT I'M SLEEPING WITH A 50-YEAR-OLD WOMAN. IT SEEMS TO ME THAT YOU ARE NOT HOLDING UP YOUR SIDE OF THINGS."

MY WIFE IS A VERY REASONABLE WOMAN. SHE TOLD ME TO GO OUT & FIND A HOT 25-YEAR-OLD BLONDE, AND SHE WOULD MAKE SURE THAT I WOULD ONCE AGAIN BE LIVING IN A CHEAP APARTMENT, DRIVING A CHEAP CAR, SLEEPING ON A SOFA BED AND WATCHING A 10-INCH BLACK AND WHITE TV.

Monday, 12 November 2007

... 4 things you never knew your cellphone could do ...

There are a few things that can be done in times of grave emergencies.

Your mobile phone can actually be a life saver or an emergency tool for survival. Check out the things that you can do with it:

*1*

* The Emergency Number worldwide for **Mobile** is 112 ..*

If you find yourself out of coverage area of your mobile network and there is an emergency, dial 112 and the mobile will search any existing network to establish the emergency number for you, and interestingly this number 112 can be dialed even if the keypad is locked. **Try it out.**

*2*

* Have you locked your keys in the car? Does you car have remote keys?*

This may come in handy someday. Good reason to own a cell phone: If you lock your keys in the car and the spare keys are at home, call someone at home on their cell phone from your cell phone. Hold your cell phone about a foot from your car door and have the person at your home press the unlock button, holding it near the mobile phone on their end. Your car will unlock. Saves someone from having to drive your keys to you. Distance is no object. You could be hundreds of miles away, and if you can reach someone who has the other 'remote' for your car, you can unlock the doors (or the trunk). Editor's Note: *It works fine! We tried it out and it unlocked our car over a cell phone!'*

*3*

*Hidden Battery power (some of you might know this arleady)

Imagine your cell battery is very low , you are expecting an important call and you don't have a charger.

Nokia instrument comes with a reserve battery.

To activate, press the keys *3370# Your cell will restart with this reserve and the instrument will show a 50% increase in battery. This reserve will get charged when you charge your cell next time.

AND

*4* How to disable a STOLEN mobile phone?

To check your Mobile phone's serial number, key in the following digits on your phone: * # 0 6 #

A 15 digit code will appear on the screen. This number is unique to your handset. Write it down and keep it somewhere safe. when your phone get stolen, you can phone your service provider and give them this code. They will then be able to block your handset so even if the thief changes the SIM card, your phone will be totally useless.

You probably won't get your phone back, but at least you know that whoever stole it can't use/sell it either. If everybody does this, there would be no point in people stealing mobile phones.

Friday, 7 September 2007

... dealing with STROKE ...

STROKE: Remember The 1st Three Steps

If everyone can remember something this simple, we could save some folks. Seriously.. Please read:

STROKE IDENTIFICATION:

During a BBQ, a friend stumbled and took a little fall - she assured everyone that she was fine (they offered to call paramedics) and just tripped over a brick because of her new shoes. They got her cleaned up and got her a new plate of food - while she appeared a bit shaken up, Ingrid went about enjoying he rself the rest of the evening. Ingrid's husband called later telling everyone that his wife had been taken to the hospital - (at 6:00pm, Ingrid passed away.) She had suffered a stroke at the BBQ. Had they known how to identify the signs of a stroke, perhaps Ingrid would be with us today. Some don't die. They end up in a helpless, hopeless condition instead.

It only takes a minute to read this...

A neurologist says that if he can get to a stroke victim within 3 hours he can totally reverse the effects of a stroke...totally. He said the trick was getting a stroke recognized, diagnosed, and then getting the patient medically cared for within 3 hours, which is tough.

RECOGNIZING A STROKE

Thank God for the sense to remember the "3" steps, STR . Read and Learn!

Sometimes symptoms of a stroke are difficult to identify. Unfortuna tely, the lack of awareness spells disaster. The stroke victim may suffer severe brain damage when people nearby fail to recognize the symptoms of a stroke.

Now doctors say a bystander can recognize a stroke by asking three simple questions:

S *Ask the individual to SMILE

T *Ask the person to TALK. to SPEAK A SIMPLE SENTENCE (Coherently) (ie. . It is sunny out today)

R *Ask him or her to RAISE BOTH ARMS

{ NOTE: Another 'sign' of a stroke is this: Ask the person to 'stick' out their tongue... if the tongue is 'crooked', if it goes to one side or the other that is also an indication of a stroke}

If he or she has trouble with ANY ONE of these tasks, call 9-9-5 immediately and describe the symptoms to the dispatcher.

A cardiologist says if everyone who gets this e-mail sends it to 10 people; you can bet that at least one life will be saved.

Tuesday, 4 September 2007

... when you're gone ...

I believe everyone has been in love before.. that someone will always loves you with no stings attached.. tolerate your temper, accompany you to do things that he/she doesn't like..

However, when the love is gone, you start finding excuses to blame the other person.. it will never be your own fault..

I always agreed with this saying that i came across from a book... though i know its easier said than done..

Be grateful or thankful to that person who loves you once.. because he/she had taught you how to love a person..

without this person, how would you do better in this present relationship?

爲何要到失去了才懂得珍惜?做人真矛盾

~~@~~@~~@~~@~~@~~@~~@~~@~~@~~@~~@~~@~~@~~@~~@~~

I always needed time on my own

I never thought I'd need you there when I cry

And the days feel like years when I'm alone

And the bed where you lie is made up on your side

When you walk away I count the steps that you take

Do you see how much I need you right now

[Chorus]

When you're gone

The pieces of my heart are missing you

When you're gone

The face I came to know is missing too

When you're gone

The words I need to hear to always get me through the day and make it ok

I miss youI've never felt this way before

Everything that I do reminds me of you

And the clothes you left, they lie on the floor

And they smell just like you, I love the things that you do

When you walk away I count the steps that you take

Do you see how much I need you right now

[Chorus]

We were made for each other

Out here foreverI know we were, yeah

All I ever wanted was for you to know

Everything I'd do, I'd give my heart and soul

I can hardly breathe I need to feel you here with me, yeah

[Chorus]

Thursday, 30 August 2007

... which haunted room will you choose? ...

One day, you get lost in the wilderness while travelling. It gets dark and you have no choice but to seek refuge in a small hut nearby. The owner tells you all his rooms are haunted. Which room will you choose?

The room where:

Room (A) --- a human head stares at you maliciously from outside your window

Room (B) --- the bathroom door creaks open and close, and there are sounds of a woman sighing

Room (C) --- the bed starts rocking violently whenever you try to sleep on it

Room (D) a headless ghosst sits at the foot of your bed when you awake in the middle of the night

MAKE ONE COMFORTABLE (?!) CHOICE BEFORE YOU SCROLL DOWN FOR THE EXPLANATION.IT'S QUITE AN INTERESTING ANSWER.........

-------------------------------------------- Scroll down for explanation -------------------------------------------------------------

A) A human head stares at you maliciously from outside your window.

Explanation: You need a lot of private space and are more suitable to work alone. You look for stability i.e. a job that is not easily affected by external factors and provides steady income.

E.g. Doctor, lawyer, SOHO , teacher, administrator.

B) The bathroom door creaks open and close, and there are sounds of a woman sighing.

Explanation: You prefer a stable job that does not require you to run around or meet people. You are willing to be subjected to pressure from your bosses if that lets you sit in an air-conditioned office all day.

E.g. Civil servant, engineer, computer engi neer, accountant.

C) The bed starts rocking violently whenever you try to sleep on it.

Explanation: You are an active person who cannot sit still and does not like to be restrained. You are easily adaptable to a job which is full of changes and not routine.

E.g. Marketing, insurance, sales, delivery man, chauffer.

D) A headless ghost sits at the foot of your bed when you awake in the middle of the night.

Explanation: You suit jobs that need you to meet people, especially large crowds. Your job will depend on these people, but you will not know who they are.

E.g. superstar, politician, PR, counter/frontline sales.


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