Monday, 30 June 2008

... prison and prisoner ...

The bride tells her husband, 'Honey, you know I'm a virgin and I don't know anything about sex. Can you explain it to me first?'

'OK, Sweetheart. Putting it simply, we will call your private place 'the prison' and call my private thing 'the prisoner'. So what we do is: put the prisoner in the prison.

And then they made love for the first time.

Afterwards, the guy is lying face up on the bed, smiling with satisfaction.

Nudging him, his bride giggles, 'Honey the prisoner seems to have escaped.'

Turning on his side, he smiles. 'Then we will have to re-imprison him.'

After the second time they spent, the guy reaches for his cigarettes but the girl, thoroughly enjoying the new experience of making love, gives him a suggestive smile, 'Honey, the prisoner is out again!'

The man rises to the occasion, but with the unsteady legs of a recently born foal.

Afterwards, he lays back on the bed, totally exhausted.

She nudges him and says, 'Honey, the prisoner escaped again.'

Simply turning his head, He YELLS at her, 'Hey, its not a life sentence, OKAY!”

Thursday, 26 June 2008

... 距離 ...

我開始感覺我倆的距離越來越遠了。

聊不上五句話,還是我們之間已不再有相同的話題?

我發現我也變得沉默很多,必要時才開口說幾句;還假裝在朋友面前表現我沒變。也許是我在掩飾那股慢慢浮現的不愉快吧!剛才在綫上與一位朋友聊天,連他也發覺我有心事。我卻沒跟他說真正的原因。因爲,不想再把往事重復又重復。

那股想要相伴的衝動又漸漸浮現在我心深處。但不想再有爭執,所以選擇不去理會。把自己弄得忙忙碌碌,只因爲這樣我才能讓你少擔心我、對我沒有任何的顧慮。

我明白也了解這是個非常時期,你絕對不容許任何的無理取閙;所以我唯有默默承受這難受的感覺。渴望等待很快就過去了。我已經開始在逃避與你相處的時間。因爲看到你一次,我就心如刀割一次,很痛很痛...

別擔心,或許這一切明天就隨風而逝了。

... 我和你 ...

got this from somewhere which i can't remember where.. but it's quite meaningful..

我和你 人海裏 竟相遇

星相印 又患得 又患失

吵了架 更思戀

重盟誓 要忠誠 搭兩船

太可惡 包三奶 不許可

因爲愛 不能分

情再長 竟不比 歲月悠

情變淡 你說過 會愛我

我沒變 你變了

我的愛 你知否 我的痛

你知否 忘記你 不容易

記住你 太難受

不結婚 結婚不 相見好

生活難 到白頭 最動人

只一句 我愛你

Sunday, 22 June 2008

... labour of love ...

For those who are still single may learn something from here. And those already married may take this as a guideline to improve your marriage.

DID I MARRY THE RIGHT PERSON?

During one of our seminars, a woman asked a common question.

She said, "How do I know if I married the right person?" I noticed that there was a large man sitting next to her so I said, "It depends. Is that your husband?" In all seriousness, she answered "How do you know?" Let me answer this question because the chances are good that it's weighing on your mind.

Here's the answer.

EVERY relationship has a cycle. In the beginning, you fell in love. With your spouse. You anticipated their call, wanted their touch, and liked their idiosyncrasies. Falling in love with your spouse wasn't hard. In fact, it was a completely natural and spontaneous experience.

You didn't have to DO anything. That's why it's called "falling" in love... Because it's happening TO YOU. People in love sometimes say, "I was swept off my feet." Think about the imagery of that expression. It implies that you were just standing there; doing nothing, and then something came along and happened TO YOU. Falling in love is easy. It's a passive and spontaneous experience.

But after a few years of marriage, the euphoria of love fades. It's the natural cycle of EVERY relationship. Slowly but surely, phone calls become a bother (if they come at all), touch is not always welcome (when it happens), and your spouse's idiosyncrasies, instead of being cute, drive you nuts. The symptoms of this stage vary with every relationship, but if you think about your marriage, you will notice a dramatic difference between the initial stage when you were in love and a much duller or even angry subsequent stage.

At this point, you and/or your spouse might start asking, "Did I marry the right person?" And as you and your spouse reflect on the euphoria of the love you once had, you may begin to desire that experience with someone else. This is when marriages breakdown. People blame their spouse for their unhappiness and look outside their marriage for fulfillment.

Extramarital fulfillment comes in all shapes and sizes. Infidelity is the most obvious. But sometimes people turn to work, a hobby, a > friendship, excessive TV, or abusive substances. But the answer to this dilemma does NOT lie outside your marriage. It lies within it. I'm not saying that you couldn't fall in love with someone else. You could. And TEMPORARILY you'd feel better. But you'd be in the same situation a few years later.

Because (listen carefully to this):

THE KEY TO SUCCEEDING IN MARRIAGE IS NOT FINDING THE RIGHT PERSON; IT'S LEARNING TO LOVE THE PERSON YOU FOUND. SUSTAINING love is not a passive or spontaneous experience. It'll NEVER just happen to you. You can't "find" LASTING love. You have to make" it day in and day out. That's why we have the expression "the labor of love." Because it takes time, effort, and energy, And most importantly, it takes WISDOM . You have to know WHAT TO DO to make your marriage work.

Make no mistake about it. Love is NOT a mystery. There are specific things you can do (with or without your spouse) to succeed with your marriage. Just as there are physical laws of the universe (such as gravity), there are also laws for relationships. Just as the right diet and exercise program makes you physically stronger, certain habits in your relationship WILL make your marriage stronger. It's a direct cause and effect. If you know and apply the laws, the results are predictable... you can "make" love work.

Love in marriage is indeed a "decision".. . Not just a feeling.

Friday, 20 June 2008

... 有心無心?...

活了這麽大,我才發覺是否我已經領悟想多、做多、錯多這句話。 很煩也生氣,因爲我好像過界了。 我認爲的關心變成是多管閒事、以為化解了誤會卻被責備是我的表達能力有問題。真的嗎?是我誤解了所有的事情嗎?從來都不覺得我有那種能耐改變也知道有些事情是改變不了的。 但是,我真的無心傷害。聽者有心、說者無意。 所以,不說、不做是最好的方式。

Tuesday, 17 June 2008

... your teeth an your luck ...

The next time you reveal your teeth in a dazzling smile, look at yourself in a mirror. Your teeth should be as well groomed as you are. They should be straight and even and should be neither too big nor too small for your face. The shape and appearance, colour and size of your teeth mirror particular traits that make you different from everyone else. Your teeth offer clues to your personality and attitudes. FSW brings you this quick and easy summary on how you to read someone’s teeth.

Shape & Appearance

1 Convex Teeth

These teeth signify someone talkative and rather noisy. This could also be an aggressive person who will not take NO for an answer. When someone with this kind of teeth approaches you, it is likely you will immediately and subconsciously be alert and watchful. This kind of teeth favours women, as convex teeth on women’s faces are only moderately convex, which signifies a good life and someone who possesses good mentor luck.

2 Concave Teeth

This is just the opposite of convex teeth and is not generally favoured. People with teeth like this should really get them fixed. Some say this indicates the person could inherit a genetic disease.

3 Sharp Teeth

This kind of teeth tends to resemble the teeth of a mouse. They are sharp and efficient. Having this kind of teeth signifies someone very smart, especially in the technical fields of expertise. Someone like this tends to be mathematical and generally have a good start in life, but he/she may face obstacles and challenges later on.

4 Mixed Convex & Concave Teeth

Here the lower part of the teeth is convex, while the upper parts are concave. This is generally described as "upside down teeth". Such teeth signify good eloquence – someone who speaks well and very persuasively. However, this person lacks career luck and could come to a bad end. This person will generally be left alone and at the losing end in any competition or dual. They lack winner’s luck and will always have to make do with coming second best.

5 Uneven Teeth

People who have uneven teeth – some small and some big, some sharp and some blunt – tend to be greedy and grasping – thinking only of him or herself. Such a person can also be something of a bully. His/her thought patterns and actions appear “unsynchronized”. This person can be very hot tempered, as a result of which he/she has troubles in most love relationships. Romantic luck tends to be lacking. Such a person should learn to control his/her emotions to create a better and happier life.

6 More Gum than Teeth

When the gums are very obvious each time a person opens his/her mouth, this suggests someone lacking in relationship luck especially with respect to family. This person is likely to leave the family when young. This does not suggest the person is not nice, only that he/she tends to be closer to friends than to relatives. However, according to physiognomy, someone with uneven oral structure is not to be trusted. One should be careful before trusting such a person.

7 Gang Tooth or Snaggle Tooth

This kind of teeth indicates someone who is proactive at work, always thinking up new ideas and demonstrating plenty of initiative. This person is also passionate and forthright. He/she has a good sense of public relations and will have plenty of social skills. Some however regard someone like this as stubborn, who tends to be argumentative and quarrelsome.

8 Unbalanced Appearance of Face & Teeth

Here the face and teeth seem to be mismatched, particularly when the face seems too small and the teeth seem too big. This is not a good indication as larger than normal teeth signify many obstacles in life. This kind of imbalance is not favoured amongst Chinese Matriarchs looking for potential wives for their sons, as this signifies a woman who will cause problems for the husband.

9 Tiger Teeth

People with this kind of teeth have different luck depending on their gender. It is unfavourable for males, as guys with this kind of teeth tend to have bad family luck. His relationship with his parents and wife are usually not good. In women, however, this teeth structure brings good relationship and wealth luck. People with this kind of teeth tend to be straightforward. This however could upset others, especially those with their own agendas.

10 Very Tiny and Neat Teeth

A person with small teeth tends to be a very stingy person. To this person, money is everything and they are easily motivated by the promise of a cash reward. Such people are also prone to jealousy and do not trust people easily. When there is a gap in the front teeth, it also indicates an inability to save money.

11 Neat but Uneven Teeth Structure

Here the teeth are either one big or one small; one front, or one back, either too long, or too short. It looks neat but the structure is badly formed. From young, this person should get dental braces to even out the imbalances. Teeth like these suggest someone who likes to tease or fool around, believing this makes people happy. Alas, most times, his/her efforts at tomfoolery just causes a great deal of annoyance. When the front teeth is upside down or uneven, it signifies a bad relationship with parents. Even when this person stays with the parents, the relationship is bad.

Colour

The perfect colour of teeth is not pure white but a milky colour. People with milky looking teeth are high-minded, humble and kind. When the teeth are also tidy and seem to be in good balance with the rest of the face, it signifies someone optimistic and passionate who will enjoy a good life.

Someone with super white teeth is someone who likes to fool around, is flirtatious and skittish, and in matters of the heart, not to be trusted. Such a person will not think twice about being unfaithful or betraying a loved one. Not good spouse material at all!

When teeth tend to be yellowish it suggests someone with a mild nature, who is patient and calm, and rarely hot tempered. Yellow teeth also suggests a healthy and long life.

When the white teeth are dry as well, it indicates a violent person who has a very hot temper. When teeth are dry and yellowish, it is not a good sign as this indicates plenty of obstacles and continuous bad luck. In this case, better to get your teeth fixed!

When the teeth is yellowish and seems moist as well, it signifies someone who tends to be psychically weak. This person tends to be petite and fragile looking, but this hides a very strong and tough person. Such people are very lucky in terms of being successful in endeavours.

Teeth that tend to look stained, brownish or blackish indicates a person to avoid. This person obviously does not look after his/her teeth. The energy surrounding such a person is negative and nasty.

Size

The size of teeth in relation to the face also offers clues to a person’s success potential. People who have big teeth that are also regular in shape have what are known as “dragon teeth”. This signifies someone powerful who has excellent career and wealth luck. Such a person will become respected and well known as an honourable person during middle age, and is slated for a good life with a good ending.

When the front teeth appear big, it suggests an active person, someone with high sex drive who gets passionate about the things and causes. Such a person is reliable and trustworthy.

When teeth are neat but small and appear to have deep roots, this is known as “ox teeth”. People with such teeth enjoy good fortune all through life. They live long and enjoy wealth and riches. When the roots do not seem deep, then small neat teeth symbolizes someone with an impulsive nature who is likely to make mistakes.

When the face is presentable with a good mouth shape, but the teeth are uneven, the person tends to be fussy and overly critical of others. Such a person is a mischief maker although there is rarely any intention to give harm or cause pain.

Sunday, 15 June 2008

... 是你是你是你 ...

你對我的好能持續多久?這幾天得謝謝你好聲好氣的跟我説話... 但是,每次你的好,不久后就會換來爭執。你的好讓我有種恐懼感;腐蝕着我。

剛才好像發生了,但不想在朋友面前與你爭執;所以選擇沉默與逃避來面對。只因我沒有力氣與勇氣去反駁。對;我開始需要勇氣,因爲我恨自己無法打開心胸去面對嫉妒吞蝕我的心房。答應你我不會,以爲我能做到;卻發現這是個艱難的任務。

你不在身邊,回家的路變得好長、好寂寞—播着熟悉的歌,眼淚也不知不覺地流下。我曉得我不應該胡思亂想,但我卻做不到。很難受;好像有種窒息的壓力。看到你的無助和漸漸浮現的壓力,我卻無能爲力。

所以,原諒我暫時避而不見;無言的對待。等你恢復我在你心中的位置時,我可能就會恢復笑容了。

我很懷戀以前的你。寧願你偶爾的呼呼呵呵,至少知道你還會關心我。

Friday, 13 June 2008

... what's love? ...

hmmmm..... and so Yue Lao says...

A man was having a conversation with 'Yue Lao' the Deity of Marriage in the middle of the night. Yue Lao was sitting down while the man was standing.

Man: O Lord, I have a girlfriend of five years, but now I have fallen madly in love with a new lady. I really don't know what to do.

Yue Lao: Are you sure that the lady you're now madly in love with is the one you love most, and will be the very last woman in your life?

Man: Yes.

Yue Lao: Then initiate a break up so you can be with the new lady!

Man: But my current girlfriend is gentle, kind, virtuous. If I initiate a break up, wouldn't it be quite cruel and unethical?

Yue Lao: In marriage and love, it will only be cruel and unethical if there is no love. You're now in love with another lady and no longer your girlfriend, and a break up is the right thing to do.

Man: But my girlfriend loves me very much, she really loves me very much.

Yue Lao: Then she is fortunate.

Man: I'm going to leave her for another woman, and this should cause her to be in misery. How can she be fortunate?

Yue Lao: Because she still possesses the love she has for you, whereas you have lost the love you have for her, because you have fallen for someone new. Accurately speaking, it is a blessing to possess and a misfortune to lose possession, therefore the one in misery is you.

Man: But I'm leaving her for another woman, she should be the one who has lost me and thus feel miserable.

Yue Lao: You're wrong. You're only an entity in her love life. When you, the entity, no longer exists, her true love will continue on to another entity. Because in her love life, she has never lost true love, therefore she is the one who should be blessed and you the one in pain.

Man: She said she would love only me all her life and not a second man.

Yue Lao: Have you not said something similar before?

Man: I... I... I... Yue Lao: Look at the three candles in the urn before you, the one that shines most brightly.

Man: I don't know, they're all equally bright.

Yue Lao: These three candles can be likened to three women. One of them is the woman you have fallen for. There are so many humans in existence, and there are more than hundreds of thousands of women. You can't even tell which is the brightest or point out which is the woman you love now, yet why are you so sure the one you love now is that woman, and even more so, how can you be so sure she will be the last woman in your life?

Man: I... I... I...

Yue Lao: Now put one candle close to you, and look closely which of the three candles are the brightest.

Man: Of course it's the one right in front of me. Yue Lao: Now put it back to where it was, and then look again and tell me which is the brightest.

Man: I really cannot tell which is the brighest.

Yue Lao: Actually, the candle you brought before you is like the woman whom you have fallen for. Love stems from the heart. While you love her, you feel that she is the brightest candle. When you put the candle back to where it was, once again you could not tell which was the brightest candle. This type of love is only a kind of greed that blinds you and looks beautiful and perfect on the surface, but in the end it's only an empty dream.

Man: Oh! Now I know. You didn't really want me to leave my girlfriend, you merely wanted to enlighten me.

Yue Lao: I won't tell you if you've seen through me. Now, go.

Man: Now I really know who I love - she is my girlfriend.

Yue Lao: May Heavenly Blessings be with you. When one is alive, one can hardly avoid love. May all lovers in the world cherish the one beside them, steer clear of greed and illusions and create happiness with their special one.

Monday, 9 June 2008

... sorry seems to be the hardest word?? …

Last night, it's my best friend's birthday… however, I think it is the worst birthday she ever had… when she called me on the phone, I knew.. she and her husband had an argument again.. yes, again.. I thought after the last argument they had, things are better… but, it is not.. same thing is happening again.. is it really due to the fact that men and women handle certain issues differently??

This time it made her so disappointed that she was crying over the phone as it's her birthday and yet her husband just don't bothered about her… she knew I had kept a diary all the while and mentioned that I should checked when was the first time she said she's giving up on her marriage..

After she hung up, that same fear crawls up to me again.. I have also admitted to her that this fear was in me soon after their first quarrel after their marriage… although divorce seems to be the easy way out on certain issues, but that's the last thing I want from both of them…

This, made me realized that saying sorry is so much more difficult than l love you.. Agree? or it just occur on men that I knew?? Few of them that I knew (my ex is one of them) had never said that word… he told me "sorry is not in my dictionary" ok fine… then I live and kept silence after each arguments we had…

After that I concluded; if a guy ever said sorry, it's because it's some grave mistake they did… for minor stuffs (like insisting I'm wrong when I'm not, never listen to what I said), they would thought action speaks louder.. hello!! it doesn't applies every time ok?? or worse, they just brush away the whole issue altogether..

To the guys out there ~ Yes, after each arguments or quarrels we had, certain points will be made clear to me, and I got it… but shouldn't you at least just apologize for all that hurling and shouting at me?? is it too much to ask for?? (though I knew if I were to start complaining about this, another argument would surface again… so I rather pen down my thoughts.. of course, I don't expect anything in return from this entry.. don't mistook me, guys! ~ or you guys would protest at this point but at least this is at least what I had observe)

A while ago, I posted a entry about argument, and it seems like couples will not talk about it after they've cooled down… only thing they did was, avoid... and then another argument surfaces, some of the issues could boil down to the same point in an earlier argument..

Is it us, human beings care too much about our face?? or we just refuse to talk about it as we think it is over and everyone had cooled down..

Maybe problems solved maybe not.. what's your say??

Monday, 2 June 2008

... 三心二意 ...

兩頭不着岸的我很辛苦。作啥都不順心。。好像我遇到瓶頸了。

這也是提醒我不能三心二意了。是否我該領悟些道理?

但我是笨的嘛,哪有這麽容易就發現呢?只好慢慢去發掘吧!可能需要用一生的時間來領悟某些道理或做人的基本功。

連見朋友都要想了又想,怕這怕那。

做女人都得經過全世界男人的同意,覺得我應該需要有女人的斯文。哈哈!

不久,我可能連門都不能出去了。要經過重重的批准、下令才能走下一步。

好啊!那就這樣吧 ~ 做機器人就行了。

Thursday, 29 May 2008

... why men are never depressed ...

Men Are Just Happier People -- What do you expect from such simple creatures? Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack. You can be President.. You can never be pregnant. You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO shirt to a water park. Car mechanics tell you the truth. The world is your urinal. You never have to drive to another gas station rest-room because this one is just too icky. You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. Same work, more pay. Wrinkles add character. Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental-$100. People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet. One mood all the time.

Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. You know stuff about tanks. A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase. You can open all your own jars. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.

Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. You almost never have strap problems in public. You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes. Everything on your face stays its original color. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades. You only have to shave your face and neck.

You can play with toys all your life. One wallet and one pair of shoes -- one color for all seasons. You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look. You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife. You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.

You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.

No wonder men are happier.

Thursday, 8 May 2008

... 傻瓜 ...

這是溫嵐的一首新歌,我非常喜歡一面聼一面哼着…

可能是它絕對反映我對愛情的心聲吧!儅了幾次的傻瓜卻還不醒悟。哈哈! 永遠希望現在式比過去式與衆不同…

結果,我又失足跌倒了。跌進同一個深淵並留下深深的疤痕。以爲我稍微換了湯,一切就沒事卻忘了湯是需要換藥的。

是否有些人和我一樣?在愛情的遊戲裏打轉,尋找某個愛自己勝過自己愛另一半的情感。我曾經擁有過,但我放棄讓它成爲永遠的機會。之後,我好像秤一樣;縱然希望能平衡出付出與回報。但漸漸明白在這遊戲裏頭,唯一不能公平衡量就是這兩樣…

而且,重要是冷漠與沉默是維持天長地久最好的解葯。也慢慢發現減少爭吵的方法就別無理取鬧也別比上不足比下有餘。

此時此刻的我只奢望能把歷史收起;把握未來就從現在開始。但,這機會是否能實現呢?我還在等待、等待着~或者,機會是要我自己去尋找、爭取?

Saturday, 26 April 2008

... heaven's ugliest ...

Three men were waiting at Heaven's Gate.

St. Peter says, "Okay, guys, pretty much anything goes up here, but whatever you do, never lie, or you will spend the rest of eternity with the ugliest women in the universe."

So they all agree and are admitted in. The first guy makes it a week before he lies about how rich he was on Earth. Bam! Right at his side appears the ugliest woman he had ever seen.

The second guy makes it another couple weeks before he lies about how smart he is. Bam! At his side appears the second ugliest woman in the universe.

So the first two guys are walking around with their monsters of women when they see their third friend walking with the hottest woman ever conceived by man. The first two guys say in unison, "How did you end with that babe when we get stuck with these nasty women?"

He nudges the babe and says, "Tell them."

She says to the first two guys, "I lied."

Saturday, 19 April 2008

... quick laugh ...

Teacher : History is a very interesting subject. It tells you about what had happened in the past.

Student : Please teacher, I don't think I want to study history.Teacher : Why?

Student : There is no future in it

............. ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... .

Teacher : Ted, if your father has $10 and you ask him for $6, how much would your father still have?

Ted : $10.Teacher : You don't know maths.

Ted : You don't know my father!

............ ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ........

Mother : David, come here.

David : Yes, mum?

Mother : You really disappoint me. Your results are getting worse.

David : But I will only get my report book tomorrow.

Mother : I know that. But I am going to Hong Kong tomorrow, so I am scolding you now.

............ ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ........

Father : Why did you fail your mathematics test?

Son : On Monday, teacher said 3+5=8

Father : So?

Son : On Tuesday, she said 4+4=8 And on Wednesday, she said 6+2=8. If she can't make up her mind, how do I know the right answer?

............ ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ........

A mother and son were doing dishes while the father and daughter were watching TV in the living room.

Suddenly, there was a loud crash of breaking plates, then complete silence.

The daughter turned to look at her father.

Daughter : It's mummy!

Father : How do you know?

Daughter : She didn't say anything.

............ ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ........

Girl: Do you love me?

Boy: Yes Dear

Girl: Would you die for me?

Boy: No, mine is undying love

............ ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ........

Man: How old is your father?

Boy: As old as me

Man: How can that be?

Boy: He became a father only when I was born

............ ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ........

Waiter: I've stewed liver, boiled tongue and frog's leg.

Customer: Don't tell me your problems. Give me the menu card.

............ ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ........

Teacher : Simon, your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's. Did u copy his?

Simon : No, teacher, it's the same dog!

............ ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ........

Father : Your teacher says she finds it impossible to teach you anything!

Son : That's why I say she's no good!

............ ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ........

Teacher: 'Where were u born?'

Student: ' Singapore , Sir.'

Teacher: 'Which part?'

Student: 'All of me, Sir.'

............ ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ........

A teacher was asking her class: 'What is the difference between 'unlawful' and 'illegal'?'

Only one hand shot up.

'Ok, answer, Joan' said the teacher.

'unlawful' is when u do something the law doesn't allow and 'illegal' is a sick eagle.'

............ ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ........

Teacher: 'How come you do not comb your hair?'

Ah Kow: 'No comb, Sir.'

Teacher: 'Use your dad's then.'

Ah Kow: 'No hair, Sir.'

............ ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ........

A boy came home from school with his exam results.

'What did u get?' asked his father.

'My marks are under water,' said the boy.

'What do u mean 'under water'?'

'They are all below 'C' (sea) level'

Wednesday, 9 April 2008

... 該去該留? ...

最近工作有點不愉快。很苦惱是否該讓一切變零。已經開始有那種每天需要很大的力氣拖着空虛的軀殼工作。

知道這是一件壞事,因爲曉得每次有這感覺時就是該盤算該去該留… 一個很矛盾的抉擇。

我也發現我漸漸失去那種衝勁了。不相干的事我不聞不問、或者該說我學會了不聞不問?

很多時候我的關心好像變成好管閑事。導致不必要、多餘的爭吵。我非常渴望真的有個地方(最好是沒人的小島)能讓我有棲身之地。不需要華麗的閙區也不必有迷人的景色。我只要一個屬於我的天地,更不需要很大的空間。

能完成這小小的願望嗎?

Wednesday, 12 March 2008

... 女朋友 ...

在男人的心目中如何算是他們所謂的“好”女朋友?

當然我相信女朋友還包括美麗 (因人而異 ~ 所以才有‘情人眼裏出西施’嘛!)、大方、溫柔、體貼、善解人意等。

但,我覺得應該還該包括如下∶

~ 在必要時懂得別多管閒事

~ 別過問任何與她無關的事情

~ 叫她做的事,別問那麽多;除非得知道為何要做

~ 需要時,要做‘私人秘書’

~ 不要吃無謂的醋,因爲可能是和工作有關 (儘管你發現了親密的簡訊與對話)

~ 順著他的要求多點。偶爾可以有驚喜;但別常常要這要那,因爲他可能受不了。

~ 或者還有別的因素??

還是那句話∶我覺得最終兩個人在一起是因爲愛;有緣才會認識,深交、結合。老天爺如果安排了這一生只願跟我走,那就順著走吧!

Monday, 10 March 2008

.. bowling ...

had been bowling for the past 1 months plus with this group of friends from forum.. used to detest myself for the low score, but not tonight.. i had break my own record!! from a mere average 60-70 when i was playing during my teens, to my last month high score 123.. and tonight - my record breaking! i hit a high score of 185!!! with 1 double n 1 turkey.. o __ o even my friends couldn't belive i could do so well.. haha.. myself too!! don't kw what come to me.. haha.. anyway, i know my effort pay off will do.. even my scores are quite consistent nowadays.. hee.. those 'secret trainings' does help after all.. wonder when will be the next record break.. 200?? here i come!! haha.. (this post is backdated as i'm too lazy and tired to write it.. hee..)

Tuesday, 4 March 2008

... marriage ....

WHY AM I MARRIED?

You have two choices in life:

You can stay single and be miserable,

or get married and wish you were dead.

__________

At a cocktail party, one woman said to another,

'Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?'

'Yes, I am. I married the wrong man.'

__________

A lady inserted an ad in the classifieds:'Husband Wanted'.

Next day she received a hundred letters.

They all said the same thing:'You can have mine.'

__________

When a woman steals your husband,

there is no better revenge than to let her keep him.

__________

A woman is incomplete until she is married. Then she is finished ..

__________

A little boy asked his father,

'Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?'

Father replied, 'I don't know son, I'm still paying.'

__________

A young son asked,'Is it true Dad, that in some parts of Africa

a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?'

Dad replied, 'That happens in every country, son.'

__________

Then there was a woman who said,

'I never knew what real happiness was until I got married,

and by then, it was too late.'

__________

Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.

__________

If you want your spouse to listen and

pay strict attention to every word you say -- talk in your sleep.

__________

Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all.

__________

First guy says, 'My wife's an angel!'

Second guy remarks, 'You're lucky, mine's still alive.'

__________

'A Woman's Prayer:

Dear Lord, I pray for: Wisdom, To understand a man, to Love and to forgive him , and for patience, For his moods.

Because Lord, if I pray for Strength I'll just beat him to death.'

__________

AND NOW FOR THE FAVORITE!!!

Husband and wife are waiting at the bus stop with their nine children. A blind man joins them after a few minutes. When the bus arrives, they find it overloaded and only the wife and the nine kids are able to fit onto the bus.

So the husband and the blind man decide to walk. After a while, the husband gets irritated by the ticking of the stick of the blind man as he taps it on the sidewalk, and says to him, 'Why don't you put a piece of rubber at the end of your stick? That ticking sound is driving me crazy.'

The blind man replies, 'If you had put a rubber at the end of YOUR stick, we'd be riding the bus, so shut the hell up.

Friday, 29 February 2008

... laugh away your stress ...

*Break Into the House*

A man went to the police station wishing to speak with the burglar who had broken into his house the night before. 'You'll get your chance in court,' said the desk sergeant. 'No, no,no!' said the man. 'I want to know how he got into the house without waking my wife. I`ve been trying to do that for years!'

***********

*Lost Wife*

The man approached a very beautiful woman in a large supermarket and asked,'You know, I've lost my wife here in the supermarket. Can you talk to me for a couple of minutes?' 'Why?' she asks. 'Because every time I talk to a beautiful woman, my wife appears out of nowhere.'

***********

*Teacher*

'If there are any idiots in the room, will they please stand up?' said the sarcastic teacher. After a long silence, one freshman rose to his feet.'Now then mister, why do you consider yourself an idiot?' enquired the teacher with a sneer. 'Well, actually I don't,' said the student, 'but I hate to see you standing up there all by yourself.'

***********

*Hearing*

An elderly gentleman had serious hearing problems for a number of years. He went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a set of hearing aids that allowed the gentleman to hear 100%. The elderly gentleman went back in a month to the doctor and the doctor said, 'Your hearing is perfect. Your family must be really pleased that you can hear again.' The gentleman replied, 'Oh, I havn't told my family yet. I just sit around and listen to the conversations. I've changed my will three times!'

***********

*Wedding*

Attending a wedding for the first time, a little girl whispered to her mother, 'Why is the bride dressed in white?' 'Because white is the color of happiness and today is the happiest day of her life.' Her mother tried to explain, keeping it simple. The child thought about this for a moment,then said, ' So, why is the groom wearing black?'

***********

* Dream*

A woman awoke excitedly on Valentine's Day and announced enthusiastically to her husband, 'I just dreamed that you gave me a pearl necklace for Valentine's day! What do you think it means?' With certainty in his voice, the man said, 'You'll know tonight.' That evening the man came home with a small package and handed it to his wife. With anxious anticipation the woman quickly opened the package to find a book entitled - 'The meaning of Dreams' .

Monday, 25 February 2008

... 屬於你我的 ...

天長地久是奢侈的。我只想要這一世。

期限是否會成立?

你的努力和改變我看到了。有時我真的很心疼你的遷就。但又能持續多久?我們走到這已經不簡單了,雖然還有很長的路要走。

而且我發現表面上的不在乎已經不能再掩飾下去了。我還是在乎的。屬於你的一切一切,我都想要、想擁有。事實卻永遠不符合我們奢望的。

是因爲我已經陷得太深了嗎?

你說你的坏脾氣是我造成的,那我的又是受誰的影響?

~~~ <<< >>> ~~~ <<< >>> ~~~

(這只是我對某些事情有感而發罷了。。看太多的分分離離了,有時真的在想這世界真的沒天長地久了嗎?假設這是一封男人給女人(或是相反)的信,對方看了是否會感動的破涕流淚?)


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