... english ...

British English vs. Singaporean English

Who says our English is teruk? Just read below - Ours is simple, short, concise, straight-to-the-point, effective etc.

WHEN GIVING A CUSTOMER BAD NEWS

Britons: I'm sorry, sir, but we don't seem to have the sweater you want in your size, but if you give me a moment, I can call the other outlets for you.

Singaporean: No stock!

RETURNING A CALL

Britons: Hello, this is John Smith. Did anyone call for me a few moments ago?

Singaporean: Hello, who call huh?

ASKING SOMEONE TO MAKE WAY

Britons: Excuse me, I would like to get by. Would you please make way?

Singaporean: S-kew me..

WHEN SOMEONE OFFERS TO PAY

Britons: Hey! Put your wallet away, this drink is on me.

Singaporean: No need lah.

WHEN ASKING FOR PERMISSION

Britons: Excuse me, but do you think it would be possible for me to enter through this door?

Singaporean: (pointing at the door) Can ah?

WHEN ENTERTAINING

Britons: Please make yourself right at home.

Singaporean: No need shy one lah!

WHEN DOUBTING SOMEONE

Britons: I don't recall you giving me the money.

Singaporean: Where got?

WHEN DECLINING AN OFFER

Britons: I would prefer not to do that, if you don't mind.

Singaporean: Don't want lah.

IN DISAGREEING ON A TOPIC OF DISCUSSION

Britons: Err... Tom, I have to stop you there. I understandwhere you're coming from, but I really have to disagree with what you said about the issue.

Singaporean: You mad ah?

WHEN ASKING SOMEONE TO LOWER THEIR VOICE

Britons: Excuse me, but could you please lower your voice? I'm trying to concentrate over here.

Singaporean: Shut up lah!

WHEN ASKING SOMEONE IF HE/SHE KNOWS YOU...

Britons: Excuse me, but I noticed you staring at me for sometime. Do I know you?

Singaporean: See what, see what?

WHEN ASSESSING A TIGHT SITUATION

Britons: We seem to be in a bit of a predicament at the moment..

Singaporean: Die lah!!

WHEN TRYING TO FIND OUT WHAT HAD HAPPENED

Britons: Will someone tell me what has just happened?

Singaporean: What happened ah? Why like that one lah?

WHEN SOMEONE DID SOMETHING WRONG

Bitons: This isn't the way to do it. Here, let me show you.

Singaporean: Like that also don't know how to do!

WHEN SOMEONE FARTED

Britons: Oh my, please pardon me.

Singaporean: Not me ah!