Wednesday, 12 March 2008

... 女朋友 ...

在男人的心目中如何算是他們所謂的“好”女朋友?

當然我相信女朋友還包括美麗 (因人而異 ~ 所以才有‘情人眼裏出西施’嘛!)、大方、溫柔、體貼、善解人意等。

但,我覺得應該還該包括如下∶

~ 在必要時懂得別多管閒事

~ 別過問任何與她無關的事情

~ 叫她做的事,別問那麽多;除非得知道為何要做

~ 需要時,要做‘私人秘書’

~ 不要吃無謂的醋,因爲可能是和工作有關 (儘管你發現了親密的簡訊與對話)

~ 順著他的要求多點。偶爾可以有驚喜;但別常常要這要那,因爲他可能受不了。

~ 或者還有別的因素??

還是那句話∶我覺得最終兩個人在一起是因爲愛;有緣才會認識,深交、結合。老天爺如果安排了這一生只願跟我走,那就順著走吧!

Monday, 10 March 2008

.. bowling ...

had been bowling for the past 1 months plus with this group of friends from forum.. used to detest myself for the low score, but not tonight.. i had break my own record!! from a mere average 60-70 when i was playing during my teens, to my last month high score 123.. and tonight - my record breaking! i hit a high score of 185!!! with 1 double n 1 turkey.. o __ o even my friends couldn't belive i could do so well.. haha.. myself too!! don't kw what come to me.. haha.. anyway, i know my effort pay off will do.. even my scores are quite consistent nowadays.. hee.. those 'secret trainings' does help after all.. wonder when will be the next record break.. 200?? here i come!! haha.. (this post is backdated as i'm too lazy and tired to write it.. hee..)

Tuesday, 4 March 2008

... marriage ....

WHY AM I MARRIED?

You have two choices in life:

You can stay single and be miserable,

or get married and wish you were dead.

__________

At a cocktail party, one woman said to another,

'Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?'

'Yes, I am. I married the wrong man.'

__________

A lady inserted an ad in the classifieds:'Husband Wanted'.

Next day she received a hundred letters.

They all said the same thing:'You can have mine.'

__________

When a woman steals your husband,

there is no better revenge than to let her keep him.

__________

A woman is incomplete until she is married. Then she is finished ..

__________

A little boy asked his father,

'Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?'

Father replied, 'I don't know son, I'm still paying.'

__________

A young son asked,'Is it true Dad, that in some parts of Africa

a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?'

Dad replied, 'That happens in every country, son.'

__________

Then there was a woman who said,

'I never knew what real happiness was until I got married,

and by then, it was too late.'

__________

Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.

__________

If you want your spouse to listen and

pay strict attention to every word you say -- talk in your sleep.

__________

Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all.

__________

First guy says, 'My wife's an angel!'

Second guy remarks, 'You're lucky, mine's still alive.'

__________

'A Woman's Prayer:

Dear Lord, I pray for: Wisdom, To understand a man, to Love and to forgive him , and for patience, For his moods.

Because Lord, if I pray for Strength I'll just beat him to death.'

__________

AND NOW FOR THE FAVORITE!!!

Husband and wife are waiting at the bus stop with their nine children. A blind man joins them after a few minutes. When the bus arrives, they find it overloaded and only the wife and the nine kids are able to fit onto the bus.

So the husband and the blind man decide to walk. After a while, the husband gets irritated by the ticking of the stick of the blind man as he taps it on the sidewalk, and says to him, 'Why don't you put a piece of rubber at the end of your stick? That ticking sound is driving me crazy.'

The blind man replies, 'If you had put a rubber at the end of YOUR stick, we'd be riding the bus, so shut the hell up.

Friday, 29 February 2008

... laugh away your stress ...

*Break Into the House*

A man went to the police station wishing to speak with the burglar who had broken into his house the night before. 'You'll get your chance in court,' said the desk sergeant. 'No, no,no!' said the man. 'I want to know how he got into the house without waking my wife. I`ve been trying to do that for years!'

***********

*Lost Wife*

The man approached a very beautiful woman in a large supermarket and asked,'You know, I've lost my wife here in the supermarket. Can you talk to me for a couple of minutes?' 'Why?' she asks. 'Because every time I talk to a beautiful woman, my wife appears out of nowhere.'

***********

*Teacher*

'If there are any idiots in the room, will they please stand up?' said the sarcastic teacher. After a long silence, one freshman rose to his feet.'Now then mister, why do you consider yourself an idiot?' enquired the teacher with a sneer. 'Well, actually I don't,' said the student, 'but I hate to see you standing up there all by yourself.'

***********

*Hearing*

An elderly gentleman had serious hearing problems for a number of years. He went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a set of hearing aids that allowed the gentleman to hear 100%. The elderly gentleman went back in a month to the doctor and the doctor said, 'Your hearing is perfect. Your family must be really pleased that you can hear again.' The gentleman replied, 'Oh, I havn't told my family yet. I just sit around and listen to the conversations. I've changed my will three times!'

***********

*Wedding*

Attending a wedding for the first time, a little girl whispered to her mother, 'Why is the bride dressed in white?' 'Because white is the color of happiness and today is the happiest day of her life.' Her mother tried to explain, keeping it simple. The child thought about this for a moment,then said, ' So, why is the groom wearing black?'

***********

* Dream*

A woman awoke excitedly on Valentine's Day and announced enthusiastically to her husband, 'I just dreamed that you gave me a pearl necklace for Valentine's day! What do you think it means?' With certainty in his voice, the man said, 'You'll know tonight.' That evening the man came home with a small package and handed it to his wife. With anxious anticipation the woman quickly opened the package to find a book entitled - 'The meaning of Dreams' .

Monday, 25 February 2008

... 屬於你我的 ...

天長地久是奢侈的。我只想要這一世。

期限是否會成立?

你的努力和改變我看到了。有時我真的很心疼你的遷就。但又能持續多久?我們走到這已經不簡單了,雖然還有很長的路要走。

而且我發現表面上的不在乎已經不能再掩飾下去了。我還是在乎的。屬於你的一切一切,我都想要、想擁有。事實卻永遠不符合我們奢望的。

是因爲我已經陷得太深了嗎?

你說你的坏脾氣是我造成的,那我的又是受誰的影響?

~~~ <<< >>> ~~~ <<< >>> ~~~

(這只是我對某些事情有感而發罷了。。看太多的分分離離了,有時真的在想這世界真的沒天長地久了嗎?假設這是一封男人給女人(或是相反)的信,對方看了是否會感動的破涕流淚?)

Thursday, 21 February 2008

... 循環 ...

他們分手了。

我知道的時候有點不知所措。該安慰還是裝諾無其事?我不懂也不想知道。昨天我曉得他找我是要與我聊天吧!但我在駕車,所以沒機會聼他的‘牢騷’。。

直到今天才知道她回到她當初所喜歡的人。也許我不屑,是喜是優、快樂悲傷;但覺得好像有種被耍的感覺。

繞了一圈還是回到原點。

偏偏很多時候事情都是這樣的。就如生老病死吧!

我們出生來到這世界學習做人的道理、漸漸長大了,到社會上做事。談一場轟轟烈烈的戀愛后就結婚生子。多年以后,我們慢慢變老了;身體也隨著年齡的增長開始變的脆弱;之後也開始偶爾聽到有喪事發生。

經歷同樣的過程,然後又入土爲安。橫的出世也橫的結束。哈哈!聼起來很好笑吧!但這就是生命。

這是個循環的世界。

Monday, 4 February 2008

... 脾氣 ...

脾氣每個人都會有。有好有坏的、有暴躁有慪氣的。當然也有些人是沒有脾氣的。

最近你是否發現你的脾氣好像天氣那麽那難以預測、變的好快。快到我已經不知所措、沒轍了。你的脾氣也很反復無常,動不動就會鬧情緒。以前我還能忍受你的無理取鬧。但是我發現我已經漸漸失去我的忍耐性了。爲何你就不是那些脾氣好的一群呢?

爲何會如此?這問題我反復的在問我自己。是我的錯嗎?你是否也有想過這問題?我倆好久好久已經沒好好聊上伍句話。不然你就會說我不了解你的煩惱。

我真的很累很累了~ 你真的很像高高在上的皇帝,只有你的世界,沒有他人的。老百姓應該順著你的聖旨做事。完全不能反駁、反抗。就算有,你也有你的原則或理由讓反抗者心服口服。假如有叛逆者,決格殺勿論。我看到血光之災,水火不容。已經有犧牲者了。。。

是時候適可而止了吧!

Tuesday, 29 January 2008

... flowers for valentine's day ...

hey ppl, guess all of you know Valentine's Day is coming in 2 weeks time huh??

and you are having trouble of getting what type of flowers for your gal friend?? but yet shy to carry the bouquet around (well its man's ego sometimes as i understand carrying a bouquet is quite girly sometimes.. haha)

the saviour is here!! check this website out!! http://www.floweryfloralflowers.blogspot.com

FREE delivery islandwide with NO minimum purchase!!

Friday, 25 January 2008

... night courses ~ just for laugh ...

Ah Beng went to take night courses with the reasoning in future can get promotion or better job.

During work, Ah Beng likes to show off to Ah Seng about his knowledge.

Ah Beng: Ah Seng ah... I've been taking night courses for 3 months already, next week is the exam.

Ah Seng: Oh... Good luck ah. Then Ah Beng started show off...

Ah Beng: Ok, I test you, who is Graham Bell?

Ah Seng: Don't know

Ah Beng: He is the inventor of phone la... in 1876, see... if you takenight courses, you would know this.

Ah Seng: ........................ *speechless*

The next day, Ah Beng shows off again...

Ah Beng: Ah Seng ah... let me ask you, who is Jean Jacques Rousseau?

Ah Seng: Wash your toilet one ah?

Ah Beng: No! He's the author of "Confessions", nah nah nah... told you already, if you take night courses, you would know this.

Ah Seng: .......................... *speechless + frustrated*

The next day, once again...

Ah Beng: Do you know who is Alexander Dumas?

Ah Seng: Your gay partner?

Ah Beng: Choiii!!! If you don't know don't simply answer la. He's theauthor of "The 3 Musketeers", if you take night courses, you would knowthis.

Ah Seng: ........................ *speechless + frustrated + irritated

This time Ah Seng cannot tahan (stand) anymore and ask Ah Beng...

Ah Seng: Eh... Do you know who is Ah Kaw?

Ah Beng: Errrr... No!

Ah Seng: He's the guy sleeping with your wife!! If you stop night courses, you would know this!!

Ah Beng: ........................ *fainted*

Thursday, 24 January 2008

... 爭吵 ...

一段感情的開始是因爲愛上對方,然後牽着彼此的手一起共創未來。中間你可能會發現對方的一些小動作、缺點、等等,但是卻可以很淡然的接受。

日復一日、年復一年,這對相愛的戀人可能開始了他們對對方的理所當然。理所當然會曉得對方幾時高興、何時傷心。

愛到濃時是否就會對彼此呼呼呵呵?反正他/她都懂我會這樣,會那樣,無所謂啦!結果就迎來無謂的爭吵與無聊的慪氣。

到後面就變成三天一小吵五天一大吵。當然,勝者為王。以爲能讓對方知道你的想法你就贏了;但對方的想法呢?你有試着去理解嗎?勝者似曾想過也許敗者可能吵到心累了、放棄解釋了或是無話可説?因爲那些無謂的口角已經開始慢慢腐化那段感情。或者他/她已經厭倦了爭吵。心裏知道就算再爭下去也沒用。公說公有理、婆說婆有理。到頭來道了歉,可能雙方和好如初,也可能過了幾天又歷史重演。

所以,下次爭吵要三思而後行噢!兩個人相愛是件很難得的事,別因爲爭吵而失去它!

Saturday, 19 January 2008

... what u want me to do?? ...

up to this point we are still arguing over your missed calls.. i hv already explained to you clearly that i didn't hear my phone.. why must you put it like as if i purposely didn't want to answer? my friends are important and so are you.. u sound as if i'm a criminal and reprimanded me so harshly.. maybe you are right, i don't get what you meant coz i'm dumb mah.. you must tell me clearly man!! just some missed calls n smses could get you so upset.. and i never thought you will call 8plus when you know i'm having dinner with my friends.. i did chk my phone but its when you happens to call.. and even if i answer, so what? i can't just leave like dat??!! or do you acutally expect me to leave?? whatever it is, my conscience is clear.. say what you want to say..

Thursday, 17 January 2008

... 關心或多心?...

從他的部落格留言板知道他要走了。(我的朋友啦,別多心!哈哈!)他說他走了,叫大家保重。這是他寫的留言 "leaving SG tml le....byebye everyone ....hehehehe....take care...."

我真的擔心了。因爲知道他剛失戀,所以有點擔心他會悄悄的離開這傷心地。能想象這一幕: 小弟呢?奇怪?!前幾天還看到他在部落格留言的嘛。。鈴鈴!電話沒人聼!死了啦,他還好吧?爲何沒人接?*電話就這樣一直響。。* 該打給小惠嗎?打還是不打?不要啦,等一下她也說我想太多。。我該怎樣?

結果打給john,“打給小惠啦!他只是出海而已嘛,那麽緊張幹嗎?他都沒事了。”

結果,我們為了小弟不會做這種事、不會這樣不負責任、他又不是沒有失戀過等鬧意見。哦,現在變得是我多心了!當初沒人告訴我他出海囉,而且我又不是神算,哪裏知道他在哪,我又曉得他出海么?到頭來,是我的錯而我的關心變成多事了咯。好,以後我不管了。

不然又有人說我想象力豐富了。

Wednesday, 16 January 2008

… my first entry here ~ blogging …

Blogging is so common nowadays that everyone has one. From 15yrs old teenager to our 70 yrs old elder, ah peh and ah ma (made in Singapore – lauzabor, the funny aunty in Jack Neo's comedy has one blog too!)

If you are lucky, do a search and you will find different styles of writing and nice nice layout of blogs. Some inspirational whereas some funny.

Having a blog is a way to jot down your daily events for others to see... enlighten some, tickle some funny bones... how true are the entries, we won't know... but some are really interesting cum funny to read (one of my favourite like everyone else – xiaxue.blogspot.com – hey, should I be paid for free advertising?? haha!).

Well, let me introduce myself. my name is on the side... and you can click my complete profile to get all information about me... haha! (*bich* multi punches from readers).

ok ok, here goes: I started blogging way back to 2003 when blogging has just surfaced. It's in my Friendster account. Then I switched to SingTel's (yeah our biggest mobile/internet provider. Are they still no. 1 today??) Moblog... I like it as it was introduced by my friend, where you could sent your entry through your mobile... though till now I didn't tried using my mobile, but heard it's fantastic... you can do it anytime any day, including weekend!! *bich* from audience: "of course lah... you already said anytime, any day lei…" ok, I'm not trying to be xiaxue... she's a good blogger. me? still far to go man... and hope I get the blogger award too!! (playing song: dreeamm, dream dream dream..)

now, knowing blogspot provides unlimited space (or do they not!?!?) and most of my friends are starting to blog here, so I shall be an angel. Help every one of you to save time switching browser and type in "tancyee.moblog.com.sg". I made everyone's life easier. You can just type "tancyee.blogspot.com" (if you are also reading other blogs here, just overwrite and change the nick in front will do!) Tatah! fast hor?? shorter typing lor.. I'm angel right?? haha!

And for those whose Chinese is not that good, I'm sorry as I should be blogging mostly in Chinese (I try to strike a balance in English and mandarin ok?) as I'm more well-versed in Chinese (me Chinese mah, so must remember my mother tongue). So, don't give me that so-what-you-are-Chinese look lei! Though I looked tanned and some say I look Malay but sorry I'm not mixed, I'm 100% Chinese!

So, stay tuned for more entries!!

Tuesday, 15 January 2008

... dragon fruit ...

Also known as the Dragon Fruit, the Pitaya is a stunningly beautiful fruit with an intense colour and shape, magnificent flowers and a delicious taste. The fruit, apart from being refreshing and tasty, contains a lot of water and minerals with many different nutrition ingredients. It tastes light sweet and it's good for liver, laxative, supplementing fiber and very suitable for diet.

Besides, dragon fruit is also good for person who has a high blood pressure. According to popular experience, obese person who has eaten dragon fruit regularly canreduce his/her weight naturally and have a beautiful balanced body but it does not influence on his/her health. Moreover, eating this fruit can stop and reduce diabetes. Hence, dragon fruit is a favorite fruit of many people especially Asian customers.

Benefits of eating the Dragon Fruit

1. Enhance the body metabolism (Protein)

2. Improve digestion (Fiber)

3. Reduce Fat (Fiber)

4. Improve memory (Carotone)

5. Maintain the health of the eyes (Carotone)

6. Strengthen bones and teeth development (Calcium)

7. Tissue development (Phosphorus)

8. Help to metabolise carbohydrates and produce energy (Vitamine B1)

9. Improve appetite (Vitamine B2)

10. Moisturise and smoothen skin and decrease bad cholestrol level (Vitamine B3)

11. Improves the immune system and promotes healing of cuts and bruises (Vitamine C)

USEFUL TIPS:

How to Select and Store

They should be full-colored and free of moldy spots. Dragon Fruit should be refrigerated, unwashed, for up to 5 days. Serve chilled.

Recipe For The Month:

Dragon Fruit Pizza

Ingredients needed :

1 package of ready to use pre-made sugar cookie dough

8 ounces cream cheese

1/2 cup powdered sugar

1 tablespoon lemon juice

3 dragon fruit, peeled and sliced

3 kiwi, peeled and sliced

1 cup strawberries, hulled and cut in half

1/4 cup apricot glaze

Directions

Rolled out cookie dough into a 12 inch round.

Bake 10-12 minutes or until lightly browned.

Allow to cool completely.

Meanwhile, prepare fruit by washing and slicing it into 1/4 inch slices.

Cream together the cream chees, powdered sugar and lemon jucie.

When the crust is cool, top with the cream cheese mixture.

Lay fruit in a circle on top of the cream cheese mixture.

Spread apriot glaze over fruit.

Chill until ready to serve.

... my virgin post ~ not anymore ...

hey people.. this is my first post here in blogger.. enjoy your stay here folks!

realized i could back date the entries! so, i shall start to cut and paste all my entries from my old moblog ones 2 here.. haiz.. why didn't i realized earlier??!!

Thursday, 10 January 2008

... out of love ...

最近一位朋友失戀了。他非常的沮喪,還在他的部落格說他希望有一天他能失去記憶而忘記一切。我知道他很傷心,雖然表面上他顯得無所謂,不在乎那女孩的(叫她小慧吧);但在他心裏面我知道他非常難受。

沒幾個人知道他也有部落格。好像只有我和小慧曉得吧。我也知道他的部落格是因爲小慧而做的。第一次讀他的部落格我還差點掉眼淚呢!因爲我也認識小慧,所以感覺更親切。他們有如我的小弟、小妹一樣。因爲這失敗的戀情,我們好像也漸漸疏遠小慧了。他們的戀情雖然很短暫,但是我曉得那是我小弟長久以來最快樂的時光。

他們不知道我也有部落格,所以我不能像其他人一樣,能寫些鼓勵的話讓他看。希望從這得到一些鼓勵與安慰。到現在我沒真正嘗試開導他因爲我不知從何說起。他曾經是個開心果,現在變成一個沉默寡言、沒笑容的小弟。搞不好,他會因此在我面前抱頭痛哭。哈哈!我們還曾經說他是唯一一個朋友從來只帶笑容不帶傷心的。但現在這句話已經不攻自破了。

誰何嘗沒有這種感覺?有失就有得、有愛就有恨、有戀愛就有失戀。曾經有人形容戀愛像搭巴士,我同意。

你等了這麽久的巴士,終于來了。上了車之後,才發現你搭錯車了。那不就要下車?所以你又重新在等下一趟。車來了,它終于是你要搭的,於是就快樂的搭到你的目的地。當然,也有人喜歡半路下車,也有人喜歡從這輛跳到那輛。不然就是巴士司機拒絕載客,因爲巴士滿了。結果,你只有再等下一輛,希望是同一樣而可以上車。傳説不是說,上帝創造了亞當,因爲怕他寂寞,所以從他的背後(可能不是背)拿了一根肋骨而創造了夏娃。所以,只要人在這世上,就一定會有另一個他/她會喜歡彼此的。因爲我們女人是男人的肋骨啊!他們少了那根就要找回來呀!

Thursday, 29 November 2007

... why we SHOULD buy pirated VCDs ...

JUST FOR LAUGH!

1. Free black plastic bag

You can't get those cool black coloured bags anywhere.The ones sold outside are too big and they are meantfor the tong sampah.

2. Family bond

Every weekend, when you go to wangsa maju JJ, you can see little kids running to the VCD shop to select their favourite Pokemon cartoon VCD. And then mommy will come along to find her favourite Teresa Teng VCD. Next comes big sister to select her F4 VCD. And lastly, big Bro and daddy searching for the latest movies ... and try to eye for some you-know-what VCD. Anyway, the whole idea is, the pirated VCD shop is like a place for weekend family reunion. When was the last time you saw daddy buying little Billy a VCD in Speedy Video ?

3. Cinema sucks

When you reach the cinema, you'll have to line up for 15 minutes before it's your turn to get the ticket. By then, they tell you ticket sudah habis. So you buy tickets for the next show and have to wait another 3 hours. When the time comes, the ticket usher stops you from bringing nasi lemak and cha-kuay-teow into the hall. So you're forced to line up another 10 minutes in the snack bar. By then, you're already late for the show. Lampu sudah tutup when you go in. Oooppss.. terjatuh and veryone laughs at you.Next, the cinema bores you with 15 minutes of iklan. Frankly speaking, I dunno why the government ban 'triple x' VCDs when all the beer commercials in the cinema feature sluts dancing around. Later, your handphone rings and everyone boos you.At last, the show ends but you'll need to beratur through the smelly exit.After 30 mintues, you notice that your handphone is lost. The only thing good about cinemas is the fact that you can throw kua-chi on the floor.

4. Customer

Friendly sellers buying VCDs from the stall is like dining in a luxury restaurant. First, those blond hair sellers will greet you with 'leng-Chai'. It's now time to order the meal. If you know what to order, they will search the title for you.But if you're undecided, these fellas will suggest some meals for you. Strangely, all movies (according to them) are nice to watch. When you've finished, here comes the main course. The rectangular box containing all the finest artistic international stuff.(porn?)..And you can bargain too! But when you buy VCDs from Speedy Video, the shop assistants will stand few meters away from you, with their arms tied and eyes alert, thinking that you're another shoplifter.

5. Beli barang buatan Malaysia. The title says it all. No need to say more.

6. You go to the movies...while watching the most suspense part in a love movie....as the guy and girl are about to kiss...all of a sudden, the screen goes into matrix mode. And then it changes to some dull scene. Doesn't this sound familiar? Say thank you to our censorship board for helping us remove the "naughty" parts. You never get this when you buy pirated CDs.

7. 6 years ago, piracy was a minority because of the original CD pricing and contents. 3 years ago, they increased original CD prices by 70% and say it's because of import duties, tax and other crap. While at the same time, the pirated CD prices drop by 50% - 70%.Customers would prefer to buy from a sale right?

8. Piracy helps students to learn new programs at a reduced price cost.If every student is going to spend RM800 just to buy Adobe Photoshop, then Malaysia would lag behind in the computer graphics industry. So in the long run, Malaysia's economic status becomes better with more knowledgeable citizens.

9. As people are willing to spend money on pirated CDs but not that willing to buy original cds, they are circulating the money and helping to increase the GDP.

10. Pirated VCDs offer the latest movies, even before they are shown in the U.S.! Compare this to original VCDs, where you have to wait for a few months after the movie is first released.

Monday, 26 November 2007

... men & women ...

Men :

1. All men are extremely busy. 2. Although they are so busy, they still have time for women. 3. Although they have time for women, they don't really care for them. 4. Although they don't really care for them, they always have one around. 5. Although they always have one around them, they always try their luck with others.

Women :

1. The most important thing for a woman is financial security. 2. Although this is so important, they still go out and buy expensive clothes and stuff. 3. Although they always buy expensive clothes, they never have something to wear. 4. Although they never have something to wear, they always dress beautifully. 5. Although they always dress beautifully, their clothes are always just "an old rag". 6. Although their clothes are always "just an old rag", they still expect you! to compliment them. 7. Although they expect you to compliment them, when you do, they don't believe you.

Wisdom:

WHEN I WAS MARRIED 25 YEARS, I TOOK A LOOK AT MY WIFE ONE DAY AND SAID, "HONEY, 25 YEARS AGO WE HAD A CHEAP APARTMENT, A CHEAP CAR, SLEPT ON A SOFA BED AND WATCHED A 10-INCH BLACK AND WHITE TV, BUT I GOT TO SLEEP EVERY NIGHT WITH A HOT 25-YEAR-OLD BLOND."

NOW WE HAVE A $2M HOME, A $245,000.00 CAR, NICE BIG BED AND 50" PLASMA SCREEN TV, BUT I'M SLEEPING WITH A 50-YEAR-OLD WOMAN. IT SEEMS TO ME THAT YOU ARE NOT HOLDING UP YOUR SIDE OF THINGS."

MY WIFE IS A VERY REASONABLE WOMAN. SHE TOLD ME TO GO OUT & FIND A HOT 25-YEAR-OLD BLONDE, AND SHE WOULD MAKE SURE THAT I WOULD ONCE AGAIN BE LIVING IN A CHEAP APARTMENT, DRIVING A CHEAP CAR, SLEEPING ON A SOFA BED AND WATCHING A 10-INCH BLACK AND WHITE TV.

Monday, 12 November 2007

... 4 things you never knew your cellphone could do ...

There are a few things that can be done in times of grave emergencies.

Your mobile phone can actually be a life saver or an emergency tool for survival. Check out the things that you can do with it:

*1*

* The Emergency Number worldwide for **Mobile** is 112 ..*

If you find yourself out of coverage area of your mobile network and there is an emergency, dial 112 and the mobile will search any existing network to establish the emergency number for you, and interestingly this number 112 can be dialed even if the keypad is locked. **Try it out.**

*2*

* Have you locked your keys in the car? Does you car have remote keys?*

This may come in handy someday. Good reason to own a cell phone: If you lock your keys in the car and the spare keys are at home, call someone at home on their cell phone from your cell phone. Hold your cell phone about a foot from your car door and have the person at your home press the unlock button, holding it near the mobile phone on their end. Your car will unlock. Saves someone from having to drive your keys to you. Distance is no object. You could be hundreds of miles away, and if you can reach someone who has the other 'remote' for your car, you can unlock the doors (or the trunk). Editor's Note: *It works fine! We tried it out and it unlocked our car over a cell phone!'*

*3*

*Hidden Battery power (some of you might know this arleady)

Imagine your cell battery is very low , you are expecting an important call and you don't have a charger.

Nokia instrument comes with a reserve battery.

To activate, press the keys *3370# Your cell will restart with this reserve and the instrument will show a 50% increase in battery. This reserve will get charged when you charge your cell next time.

AND

*4* How to disable a STOLEN mobile phone?

To check your Mobile phone's serial number, key in the following digits on your phone: * # 0 6 #

A 15 digit code will appear on the screen. This number is unique to your handset. Write it down and keep it somewhere safe. when your phone get stolen, you can phone your service provider and give them this code. They will then be able to block your handset so even if the thief changes the SIM card, your phone will be totally useless.

You probably won't get your phone back, but at least you know that whoever stole it can't use/sell it either. If everybody does this, there would be no point in people stealing mobile phones.

Friday, 7 September 2007

... dealing with STROKE ...

STROKE: Remember The 1st Three Steps

If everyone can remember something this simple, we could save some folks. Seriously.. Please read:

STROKE IDENTIFICATION:

During a BBQ, a friend stumbled and took a little fall - she assured everyone that she was fine (they offered to call paramedics) and just tripped over a brick because of her new shoes. They got her cleaned up and got her a new plate of food - while she appeared a bit shaken up, Ingrid went about enjoying he rself the rest of the evening. Ingrid's husband called later telling everyone that his wife had been taken to the hospital - (at 6:00pm, Ingrid passed away.) She had suffered a stroke at the BBQ. Had they known how to identify the signs of a stroke, perhaps Ingrid would be with us today. Some don't die. They end up in a helpless, hopeless condition instead.

It only takes a minute to read this...

A neurologist says that if he can get to a stroke victim within 3 hours he can totally reverse the effects of a stroke...totally. He said the trick was getting a stroke recognized, diagnosed, and then getting the patient medically cared for within 3 hours, which is tough.

RECOGNIZING A STROKE

Thank God for the sense to remember the "3" steps, STR . Read and Learn!

Sometimes symptoms of a stroke are difficult to identify. Unfortuna tely, the lack of awareness spells disaster. The stroke victim may suffer severe brain damage when people nearby fail to recognize the symptoms of a stroke.

Now doctors say a bystander can recognize a stroke by asking three simple questions:

S *Ask the individual to SMILE

T *Ask the person to TALK. to SPEAK A SIMPLE SENTENCE (Coherently) (ie. . It is sunny out today)

R *Ask him or her to RAISE BOTH ARMS

{ NOTE: Another 'sign' of a stroke is this: Ask the person to 'stick' out their tongue... if the tongue is 'crooked', if it goes to one side or the other that is also an indication of a stroke}

If he or she has trouble with ANY ONE of these tasks, call 9-9-5 immediately and describe the symptoms to the dispatcher.

A cardiologist says if everyone who gets this e-mail sends it to 10 people; you can bet that at least one life will be saved.


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