... my darkest day ...

i was knocked by a real shocking new last evening.. a bad news to me.. after reading the email that my GM send to us at 5.46pm..

my wonderful superior cum buddy.. closest colleague i had is leaving!! nobody knew what happened.. it came as a surprise (especially when me + 2 other colleagues got it 'fresh' from the oven).. as the email was only send slightly after most of us left it didn't create much commotion in the office..

lost my mood all of a sudden when i'm on my way to meet my 老大, francis.. later in the night, my GM also send me an sms informing about the news.. one colleague called me to check what is happening too..

what a evening..

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morning came.. i knew some commotion will happen after that.. everyone entered the office.. well, everyone looked alright.. or are they looking to hide the sad news inside them??

my superior came in later in the morning.. she greeted everyone as usual.. she looked as per normal too..

i was alright when she stepped in.. though my mood was already affected since last evening.. soon, i realized i was trying so hard to put on a smile and even had to breathe in hard each time the phone rang.. just to put on my brave front so nobody would knew i'm so affected..

i was also trying to avoid entering her room this morning which i always did.. catch up things wit her.. but not today.. as i knew i would be very very emotional afterwards..

yes, and i did.. when i need her to sign some invoices and the farewell lunch petty cash voucher we intended for another colleague of ours.. her last day is today too as her contract expired..

i tried to enquire about her side of the story but i couldn't hold it anymore.. i left her room crying withing minutes.. she told me we'll talk later..

lunch time came.. i refused to go into the conference room.. everyone was happily laughing away.. i don't blame them.. maybe they are trying very hard to hold that sad part of their emotion in them too..

furthermore, i wasn't hungry as i had 4 slices of sandwich in the morning already.. plus i really got no mood to eat.. then i was asked to go in.. trying damn hard and refused to look at my superior.. she still the same.. smiling away.. cracked some jokes but i knew my laughter wasn't genuine..

clock ticking away and i knew soon i got to bid her goodbye.. finally we had a short talk after lunch.. knew her side of the story.. it was a real surprise.. it was anticipated but didn't expected it would come at this time.. then we both sobbed.. my tears were flowing non-stop when she said: "if there's a chance, i hope to work together with you again" yes yes!! i would hope the same that someday, somewhere she will be my manager again..

later in the afternoon, my financial controller (aka FC) asked me to go to his room.. i knew he had some explanation for me.. and IT manager was around too.. my FC was expecting i would be the first to ask him questions pertaining to the earlier announcement.. but where do you want me to start??? all the whys and hows were no more of any significance right?? decision is already made..

tears flowed again when i told him of course i'm the most affected as the person leaving is my superior and she's also the one who brought me into this company.. never did i thought i would cried in front of my colleagues..

well, i know it's going to take awhile to get over this and i had to move on.... just hope the new year would be a good time to get over it and start my new life.. without my HR & Admin manager..